Intimacy: Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well...

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 611

You deserved it 2 707

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 778

You deserved it 13 698

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 798

You deserved it 5 504

By KO - 12/10/2014 16:45 - United States

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 849

You deserved it 4 389

By naughtymommy0317 - 20/06/2013 08:47 - United States

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 119

You deserved it 5 923

By Anonymous - 30/12/2012 08:29 - United States - Inglewood

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 923

You deserved it 44 415

Really into it

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 22:00

Today, I was having sex with my partner and we got very into it. I went to wrap my hand around his neck and somehow accidentally poked my finger in his eye socket so hard he ended up in emergency. He still can’t see properly out of that eye now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 237

By WasntWorthIt - 30/07/2014 17:04 - United States - Concord

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 752

You deserved it 5 877

The heat of the moment

By righthook - 08/04/2015 19:56 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 889

You deserved it 8 655

Kinky

By Anonymous - 23/08/2022 12:00 - United States - Fpo

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 276

Alexa, play "Cannonball" by The Breeders

By Anonymous - 18/05/2020 17:00

Today, I was getting frisky with my husband under the covers in bed. My son decided to run into our room and cannonball on top of my husband. This startled him, which caused him to bite me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 312

MagnusDeus 24

Monday 4 January 2016 17:07

Seems a little harsh to knee your wife in the face. Even if it was almost butt penetration.

Sandsh8rk 36

Monday 4 January 2016 17:09

I guess he really didn't want to do it in the butt, in the butt.

Comments

Tyguy823 14

Tuesday 5 January 2016 1:53

What does op mean? Stupid question I know but still

Xion0014 20

Tuesday 5 January 2016 2:33

Hes missing out, theres nothing wrong with a little rim job!

arkh_angel 16

Tuesday 5 January 2016 3:19

Next time tie him to the bed!

scrollingthru 10

Tuesday 5 January 2016 4:24

Is he afraid of you touching his ass? Or was it the thought of a "rim job"? lol either way sounds wierd like maybe he had a bad experience with someone messing with his butthole.

atiggerx33 6

Tuesday 5 January 2016 5:29

Ok, why would he think you'd do that? I mean your married, you know what the other is into, so why would he think, despite you knowing that's not his thing, that you'd force it on him? Sounds like he needs serious help if he's willing to knee his wife in the face because he's paranoid about something she's never tried to force on him. And if you have tried to force it on him... well then shame on you OP you'd deserve a knee to the face (nothing wrong with a dude wanting to try butt stuff, or a wife suggesting they try it to see if he likes it, it is extremely wrong however for anybody to attempt to force someone to do something they're sexually uncomfortable with).

becca_banana 9

Tuesday 5 January 2016 8:13

I was going to make an anal joke. Butt **** it.

xoLali_ 4

Tuesday 5 January 2016 9:43

maybe they mess around a lot and she pretends to go for his ass when they play fight. that's what I would think. easy way for him to stop and give up a fight. lol

The_Khan 12

Tuesday 5 January 2016 11:15

Donno why he would be with a woman, and when she starts moving South he would go "Not my butt !" Im no psychologist (though I like to pretend to be), but this man might have some issues. I prescribe some sexual healing. Near the butt. :p