Sex and Love: Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little...

By Anonymous - 22/06/2009 23:41 - United States

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 395

You deserved it 11 794

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Same thing different taste

Mortified

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 000

You deserved it 8 945

Peek a boo

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 057

You deserved it 16 176

Scarred for life

By Guess who's back - 10/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Homebush

Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 1 814

Alexa, play "Cannonball" by The Breeders

By Anonymous - 18/05/2020 17:00

Today, I was getting frisky with my husband under the covers in bed. My son decided to run into our room and cannonball on top of my husband. This startled him, which caused him to bite me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 604

You deserved it 310

By Darin Greenwood - 22/07/2019 14:00

Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 374

You deserved it 2 477

Boundaries

By Alock - 08/09/2024 00:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 89

By Anonymous - 02/08/2019 02:00

Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 946

You deserved it 296

By Anonymous - 03/08/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 101

You deserved it 42 158

Buzzing the tower

By Princess ? - 12/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 166

You deserved it 283

By Bonding_boys - 17/12/2012 16:21 - United States - Elk River

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 868

You deserved it 6 281

phobiaoffears 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 9:43

He laughs now, but later on in life he'll definitely regret doing that.

insensitivity_ki 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 9:47

He is so going to smoke crack...

Comments

patray_angel 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 17:53

Kids can be hard to keep track of at times, but when it comes to having sex, the parents should definitely make sure they know where their kid is. I think 7 is a little too young to leave him alone doing whatever while you sneak away to go have sex. I don't think the kid will be scarred at all by this, because it doesn't sound like he knew what they were doing. As others mentioned, he just probably thought it was funny that his parents hadn't yet discovered he was there. During the day, parents should only have sex if their child is either taking a nap, at a friends house, or is no longer living at home.

likeduhhx4 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 23:21

well maybe you should write a book about when parents should have sex.

1234five 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 18:03

He's gonna tell allllll his friends

Cormophyte 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 18:11

YDI, for not securing the crotchfruit :P

DarthJeff 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 18:13

That's messed. Check on your kid before next time or get a babysitter.

shadowsx1101 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 18:35

Don't worry OP. Obviously your son loved the fact that he was hiding from you for so long, so he decided to let out a giggle to let you know where he is. But, you really should have checked everywhere before continuing your sexual activity. At least you can tell him all about it when he's older! =D

Guyoverhere 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 18:53

What a creeper

lifeislife_fml 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 18:53

There's been like...5 of these FML's this week where the kid witnesses the parents having sex.

wowfmlife 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 19:05

well #69 he obviously needs someone to keep an eye on him if hes sneaking under beds without the parents even taking notice

omgtayy 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 19:15

Hahahaa. If it makes you feel any better, when I was five, my parents woke me up when they were getting it on in the next room over. I got up, walked into their room, and they didn't realize I was there until I yelled, "MOMMY YOU MADE ME THINK THERE WERE PUPPIES IN HERE!!"