Miscellaneous: Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned... - FML

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 11:29 - Netherlands

Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 774

You deserved it 3 825

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Short Queen

By Anonymous - 14/08/2024 10:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, it's my 36th birthday. My boyfriend and I celebrated with a big group of our friends, our families, and their kids. Everyone there was taller than me, including my friend's 10 year-old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 111

By Chakkamofo - 01/02/2009 22:47 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card that read, "You made it to 36!" It's my 35th birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 009

You deserved it 2 455

By rene - 22/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 876

You deserved it 3 368

By Anonymous - 19/11/2015 14:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 659

You deserved it 2 028

By you would - 04/03/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140 978

You deserved it 7 662

By Jeri - 12/02/2010 08:41 - United States

Today, the day of my 29th birthday and two weeks after our 10th wedding anniversary, the only thing my husband got me for my birthday was divorce papers. Happy birthday, bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 661

You deserved it 4 948

Party!

By kelkline - 31/08/2009 16:45 - United States

Today, my friend got a babysitter for the kids and told me she was taking me to a party. My son told me his band was playing at a party. I will be 40 tomorrow, so I thought this would be the best surprise birthday party ever. It WAS a surprise birthday party – for a friend of ours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 083

You deserved it 3 533

It's the thought that counts

By Not a day over 35 - 18/06/2013 13:06 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 687

You deserved it 5 833

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 037

You deserved it 601

Who are you?

By Boyufd - 19/06/2021 00:01

Today, it was my birthday. Also today, same as the past five years, my family forgot my mine and threw a party for my 5-year-old twin sisters who I share a birthday with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 94

Next

Top comments

kira1kira 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 21:17

dad:kids, tommorow is your mom's birthday! kid: how old is she? dad: .... other kid: she looks, like, 50. kid: yea let's go with that. dad: ok, sounds good

L0veh8te 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 20:24

Happy 50th Bday

Comments

untoldfame 3

Wednesday 22 July 2009 20:38

family fail.

TattooedToDeath 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 20:44

ULRICH VON LICHENSTEIN! sorry just had to :)

Stunt_fml 5

Wednesday 22 July 2009 20:47

Maybe they're going to go backwards from now on... so you'll die at "21" or something? 47 is a good time to lie and say you're 35 anyway, right?

tonton27_fml 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 20:50

O.o Curious Case of Benjamin Button? 'Nuff said.

kirbz 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 21:04

PWNED!

ohhhkay 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 21:04

Everyone here will be 47 eventually. Stop hatin'.

Glam_fml 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 21:14

Haha, wow. At least they remembered your birthday, even if they got your age wrong. Now you can hang this over their heads and get them to do extra housework, yardwork, etc.

DoomJeff91 2

Wednesday 22 July 2009 21:15

My kids invented a time machine and I want to complain. Wah Wah. FML.

AAAAHHHH12 2

Wednesday 22 July 2009 21:15

Well, did you tell them the truth? Or are they still insisting that you're 50?

The_Great_Zucchi 15

Wednesday 22 July 2009 21:16

Great idea for a practical joke! Thanks...

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The Top

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 313

You deserved it 157

Today, my dad has been faking social anxiety to make me feel like there's something wrong with me. How do I know? Because I actually have social anxiety, and he not only shows no symptoms of it, but he also has a lot of misconceptions about it that he would know are false if he actually did have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 180

The Top

Today, I had to listen for over 10 minutes as my brother and grandmother discussed how much they hate me. They thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 404

You deserved it 326

Today, while grading my kindergarteners' spelling tests, one kid spelled all the words wrong, including his name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 188

Today, in order to barely survive, I have to work two jobs that kill all my time. As a kid and teenager, my parents were strict to the bone, and I was bullied by my peers. I’m 25, single all my life. I left home at 18, but I’ve had no choice but to live by other people’s rules my whole life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 147

Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 621

You deserved it 5 862

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 005

You deserved it 6 602

Today, my girlfriend informed me that she is still in love with the guy she cheated on me with. She admitted that she would be willing to do anything with him if he wanted to. And, "He's a better kisser too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 184

You deserved it 5 287