Drunk, Annoying, Coworkers and Miscellaneous: Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious,... - FML

By grubbieduc - 06/10/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 574

You deserved it 2 779

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 06:17 - United States

Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 755

You deserved it 5 900

By badwife - 07/11/2009 10:22 - Japan

Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 390

You deserved it 17 366

Freakout

By Anonymous - 04/01/2012 17:00 - United States

Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 234

You deserved it 2 839

By Emily - 21/09/2012 01:39 - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 168

You deserved it 2 020

By Anonymous - 28/09/2013 04:08 - United States - Bloomdale

Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 774

You deserved it 4 403

By scumbag - 05/11/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 150

You deserved it 6 428

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 230

You deserved it 4 591

By Nykole McAllister - 15/09/2018 17:30 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was talking to a nice guy on a dating app and we exchanged numbers. Later, I got a call. It was his wife asking me to stop talking to her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 110

You deserved it 281

By nolife - 05/11/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, my stalker - an annoying guy who's dedicated the past three years of his life to stalking me at every turn - somehow got a hold of my number and started texting me at 10pm about how I have no life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 396

You deserved it 2 977

A nickname that sticks

By Anonymous - 24/03/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 872

You deserved it 10 532

Next

Top comments

afdude87 6

Thursday 6 October 2011 11:58

put his on Craigslist in the male looking for male section and see how he likes people he doesn't know calling him.

Auron93 1

Thursday 6 October 2011 11:55

Can't just block the number? Or text him from your husbands phone tellin him to cut that shit out

Comments

kelzen 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 13:34

Wow, what a reason to rethink it eh? Man I'd be soo offended

ChrisTheCalm 9

Thursday 6 October 2011 13:35

He probably hangs around the funny ones. Lol

Jesus_Christ69 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 13:41

Well.. At least if you're having problems you have someone to call.

polocity 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 13:44

That should make u appreciate him more!

whcwtexan 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 13:47

FTW!!!

ikickgingers 15

Thursday 6 October 2011 13:59

Wow. 9 - you are the reason my faith in the institution of marriage is failing. If her husbands dick was in some random guys ass, yeah rethink the marriage.... But a few phone calls? Gtfo

Cheylea 10

Thursday 6 October 2011 14:03

Well, best advice for this situation is to block the number & inform your moronic husband that he shouldn't give out your number, especially not to drunken idiots. Great friends your husband chooses...

Btreasure 8

Thursday 6 October 2011 14:05

I don't think it's drunk dialing

allaturca 12

Thursday 6 October 2011 14:07

Does it cost to receive phone calls in the US? If not, I would pick up and think of a way to let him clock up a massive phone bill :)

jack_tells_truth 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 14:23

You married him, you deserve it. After the divorce, work harder on finding a guy who isn't stupid

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 824

You deserved it 4 306

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact that both of my roommates are aware of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 558

You deserved it 3 748

The Top

Today, at my grandad's funeral, as my dad and aunt poured his ashes into the hole, a strong gust of wind blew the ashes into my throat. I choked on my grandad. What made it worse was that the vicar had to stop her prayer to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 112

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 341

You deserved it 22 937

Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 571

You deserved it 2 779

Today, I was at my sister's concert. Some girls sitting behind me were cheering for someone and being annoying. Halfway through I yelled my sister's name, only to get called out, pointed at, and yelled at for being disrespectful. The other girls didn't get yelled at when they were being more disruptive than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 199

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 676

You deserved it 2 118

Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 167

You deserved it 10 030