Intimacy: Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

By fuck no - 22/08/2015 10:18 - India - Kollam

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 244

You deserved it 8 029

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Same thing different taste

Hot and… greasy

By cortanaisahobot - 19/07/2012 20:29 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 655

You deserved it 6 224

Kinky

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 22:00

Today, my husband asked if we could try food play during sex. I okayed it, thinking it would be the standard squirty cream or chocolate sauce. Let’s just say I was not expecting him to be eating crispy bacon and blue cheese sauce off my boobs. Good Lord, I married a weirdo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 532

Taste test

By Anonymous - 25/01/2014 12:28 - United States - Berkeley

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 643

You deserved it 6 606

By pipers - 02/05/2019 10:00 - United States - Northfield

Today, I spent several hundred dollars having our pipes and septic system fixed. Tonight, I watched my husband pour about a half-liter of bacon grease into the sink. Better keep the septic guy on speed dial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 090

You deserved it 274

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 928

You deserved it 6 525

Sexy talk

By hamburger - 06/07/2013 21:21 - United States - Adrian

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 309

You deserved it 8 506

By ch4nny - 29/08/2014 01:47 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 255

You deserved it 5 688

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 04:07 - United States

Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 420

You deserved it 54 849

By whatdidimarry - 24/09/2015 23:31 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 269

You deserved it 2 303

And they say romance is dead…

By BaconBreathBlonde - 30/10/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 042

You deserved it 7 731

vampgirl999 8

Sunday 23 August 2015 6:22

This would be a good time to stop having kitchen sex. Or never start.

JustBecausePie 12

Sunday 23 August 2015 6:21

Hey you can't hate it till you try it.

Comments

sailorkristina 11

Sunday 23 August 2015 22:15

is your husband the guy from epicmealtime?

trucker2 33

Sunday 23 August 2015 22:35

Can we all hear her hubby, honey, you smell like pork, something's a little fishy here !

SlapsKnee 12

Sunday 23 August 2015 23:13

mattrd_fml 31

Monday 24 August 2015 0:44

am I the only one curious as why this got so many you YDIs?

boonhower69 3

Monday 24 August 2015 0:59

hey bacons good on anything right...?

LyricaSilvan 29

Monday 24 August 2015 1:02

Why are so many people voting YDI on this? It's not like OP said they did it and got burnt or something.

JKPwnage 27

Monday 24 August 2015 5:27

Wait... Isn't that a Cards Against Humanity card?

dirtbikeguy 14

Monday 24 August 2015 6:01

What a pig.

dirtbikeguy 14

Monday 24 August 2015 6:03

Wow your husband must be insane. Sausage grease works a hell of a lot better.

samlovesham1234 9

Monday 24 August 2015 6:39

Um, ew?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 211

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 294

You deserved it 9 654

The Top

Today, my car wouldn't start because of the cold weather. Since I was at a friend's house, I asked him to jump-start it. After taking about ten minutes to start his vehicle and park it by mine, we found that both of our car hoods were frozen shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 705

You deserved it 3 856

Today, despite driving extremely slowly and cautiously, we slid off the road due to ice and snow. The car hit a rock and the airbags deployed. We were in my 3-month-old car because the engine in my husband's truck blew last week. Merry Christmas to us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 750

You deserved it 822

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 298

You deserved it 6 264

Today, I was walking down the street when a "homeless" man asked for money. I gave him a dollar and he got up and called his friend on an iPhone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 046

You deserved it 8 327

Today, my boyfriend was tidying up around the room. I asked him if he'd like me to help, to which he responded, "No, I don't need any help," then added, "Wish you weren't so lazy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 240

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 345

You deserved it 4 028