Kids: Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial...

By Joey - 30/01/2011 17:21 - United States

Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 050

You deserved it 3 380

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Same thing different taste

Pure evil

By Anonymous - 29/04/2015 16:06 - South Africa - Pinetown

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 099

You deserved it 3 339

By grrrr - 08/02/2010 00:35 - United States

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 420

You deserved it 2 893

Pissed

By holy - 21/10/2009 21:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 075

You deserved it 33 446

By Anonymous - 17/02/2013 02:12 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 873

You deserved it 6 877

By Anonymous - 27/12/2011 15:53 - United States

Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 499

You deserved it 3 233

Still better than the Cats movie

By dirty deeds - 31/05/2020 14:00

Today, my brother’s cat pissed on my brand new bed. He refuses to replace the mattress, and claims it wasn’t his cat. We only have one cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 490

You deserved it 153

By marcymoo - 11/03/2013 04:09 - Australia - Perth

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 924

You deserved it 2 872

By oh for f*cks sake - 20/03/2017 12:00 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 824

You deserved it 414

By wetbutt - 06/03/2009 17:49 - United States

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 993

You deserved it 68 588

By utensils123 - 09/02/2010 06:40 - Australia

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 350

You deserved it 2 319

Doortje 29

Monday 31 January 2011 0:19

That's a smart little brother you have there. Now start peeing on his favourite toys and see how he likes that.

macskapingvin 0

Monday 31 January 2011 0:20

Do the kindest thing. Tranquilise this poor lost animal and set him loose in the forest where he belongs.

Comments

pinkybaby 0

Sunday 17 April 2011 17:08

#76 : probaly the app duh

zyzy92 8

Saturday 18 June 2011 14:37

did he also know that bears get shot by humans? I'll supply the rifle and ammo......

zyzy92 8

Saturday 18 June 2011 14:38

what about the neutered part?

Awesomehobo44 3

Thursday 27 October 2011 3:11

Wow smart bro u got there

techman321 1

Sunday 8 January 2012 4:10

make him buy a new laptop

____Dubs____ 4

Saturday 15 February 2014 17:33

Reason #9273647282948472 why I'm happy that I'm an only child.

Ipsum629 13

Wednesday 16 July 2014 6:07

your little brother is a special kind of stupid isn't he?

Derp2DaFlygon 5

Thursday 11 May 2017 20:36

so I read beers instead of bears and was really confused

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The Top

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 432

You deserved it 21 173

Today, since I needed someone to talk to about it, I told my girlfriend how my dad was recently diagnosed with diabetes. My girlfriend's mother then told me, in graphic detail, how her father's diabetes led to his toes being hacked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 767

You deserved it 731

The Top

Today, when getting my eyebrows waxed, the lady cursed "oh shit!" under her breath, right after waxing half of my brow off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 830

You deserved it 1 111

Today, I finally found out who has been sending me hate letters, it's my husband's ex-wife. They've been divorced for 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 664

You deserved it 3 390

Today, my grandmother's excuse for not going to my college graduation was because she'd already bought her bingo card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 705

You deserved it 2 805

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she gave me a really long recipe and said, "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic." I work at Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 742

You deserved it 4 170

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 052

You deserved it 6 008

Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 697

You deserved it 11 759

Same thing different taste

Pure evil

Pissed

Still better than the Cats movie

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