Work: Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion...

By perfecttiming - 06/05/2013 15:25 - United States - San Jose

Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 646

You deserved it 4 674

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 21/03/2012 17:10 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 412

You deserved it 2 343

By DefinitelyNotDogshit - 28/08/2013 04:06 - United States - Levittown

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 721

You deserved it 3 679

The Dilbert Principle

By Anonymous - 14/06/2017 16:00

Today, my boss called me into his office. I've been working hard doing extra work so I can get promoted. He called me in to tell me I'm to reliable in my current position, so I won't be moving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 345

You deserved it 334

By TheHeirofTime - 15/08/2016 15:11 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 256

You deserved it 1 735

By constipated - 03/06/2017 02:00

Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 338

You deserved it 454

Bad timing

By screwedupfuck - 27/03/2015 21:19 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 459

You deserved it 6 081

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 019

You deserved it 5 401

By yolo is for shitheads - 09/10/2012 16:07 - United States

Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 440

You deserved it 2 168

Squeezed one out

By harris - 25/06/2021 02:00

Today, I was desperate for the toilet when I got stopped by our CEO for a chat about a project I made a ton of profit on. I was so close to disaster that when she pulled me in for a hug I wasn’t expecting, it happened. Diarrhoea down my legs and shoes. I practically made the CEO vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 330

You deserved it 229

Dirty protest

By Paul - 21/08/2023 00:02

Today, I had a job interview; unfortunately for me, I was so nervous that all of a sudden I felt the need to take a huge dump. My bowels started growling out of protest. I tried to play it off as if it was due to me being hungry, but it sounded like I had a monster trapped in my guts. The interviewer raised an eyebrow in disbelief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 112

rg350dx 29

Monday 6 May 2013 19:10

You could've just let it go and said you were so excited you shit your pants.

nothing92x 13

Monday 6 May 2013 19:10

At least you didn't crap yourself with excitement!

Comments

bReLiNg 18

Monday 6 May 2013 19:18

Poor OP :( you deserve the promotion for not taking the day off! You are a trooper.

j_cat187 19

Tuesday 7 May 2013 1:06

More like a super dooper pooper scooper.

MrConcise 34

Monday 6 May 2013 19:20

This is an FML boss we're talking about. Do something over the top to get his attention. An overly-dramatic Facebook post about how excited you were to get the promotion will fix it. Unless you get fired for posting work-related stuff on Facebook...this is why I don't give advice.

gracehi 31

Monday 6 May 2013 19:20

He's ******* with you.

Ambient25 24

Monday 6 May 2013 19:29

Yes he obviously gave the guy diarrhea

gracehi 31

Monday 6 May 2013 20:31

I dunno. That chocolate he shared with him earlier didn't quite taste right.

_Awesome_Red_ 11

Monday 6 May 2013 19:23

What if he started cracking shit jokes like. "You probably don't give a shit." Or, "Your pay is crap." Oh and like, "Your salary is going down the toilet."

debbster7 18

Monday 6 May 2013 19:24

You could've just told you boss you were ill.

processengineer 9

Monday 6 May 2013 19:37

been there. just ask if you can be excused

delaneyluke 5

Monday 6 May 2013 19:53

I guess look of desperation does not equal look of excitement.

Fluffydemise 18

Monday 6 May 2013 20:03

You mean you don't look excited when you are faced with the prospect of pooping publicly and in, probably, large runny quantities? Each to their own, I guess.