Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told...

By Noname - 25/02/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told me the key to a happy/successful relationship was "letting your man explore ALL your orifices." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 789

You deserved it 4 196

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Ohai - 16/01/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 580

You deserved it 3 075

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 818

You deserved it 37 524

By lisahb - 19/06/2012 22:16 - United States - Detroit

Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 484

You deserved it 3 316

By Anonymous - 25/10/2016 08:31

Today, without thinking, I casually advised my mum that the best way to get the piping nozzle clean is to 'fingerfuck' it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 925

You deserved it 4 869

By Anonymous - 27/11/2009 21:45 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 190

You deserved it 3 650

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 108

By saddened97 - 20/01/2011 09:39 - Australia

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 710

You deserved it 12 897

By Mak1 - 05/12/2008 08:12 - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 736

You deserved it 4 692

The struggle

By Anonymous - 06/08/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son came to complain that all he and his girlfriend do is have sex, yet never talk to each other. As his dad, I tried to give him good advice, but as his mom makes me miserable every time she opens her mouth, it was a struggle to think what to say. In fact, he’s living my idea of paradise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 183

You what?

By charliesangel123 - 21/02/2010 17:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 510

You deserved it 3 721

burdenofaday 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 17:10

Haha. Your mom likes buttsex.

Sciamachy 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 13:33

Wow... so your mom is into aural & nasal sex too?!

Comments

Bilbotitface 2

Monday 5 April 2010 11:18

I wanna marry ur mam shes rught tho tht way he doesntt get bored :)

ishatyounot 11

Sunday 4 July 2010 5:34

ew...just ew

Darwin54 6

Tuesday 21 September 2010 4:06

Your mom is very wise.

Darwin54 6

Tuesday 21 September 2010 4:06

Your mom is very wise.

randiZ25 0

Tuesday 30 November 2010 19:57

that or give a lot of head..

oliver86 8

Monday 28 February 2011 9:19

aural referring to ears good for eargasms

sCaRy_dUdE 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 1:04

I did that with my ex, got it in the bum. Little did I know she didn't want to do anal, she just wanted to see if I would do it. :(

Michele2luv 8

Sunday 17 April 2011 10:49

who is your mother? Chelsea Handler

quietnurse 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 12:13

she's at least honest

XAlizeX 5

Tuesday 7 June 2011 4:09

hey mom is totally right

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 651

Here's another FML video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com. Enjoy! Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tre...

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 39

The Top

Today, I had a Tinder coffee date. He picked me up, we went to a coffee shop, we talked about work. I was having a fine time, that is until I went to the restroom and came back to find him, his car, and my phone charger gone. That was my only charger, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 332

You deserved it 872

Today, my neighbour was practicing his opera singing, drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 650

You deserved it 3 322

Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 677

You deserved it 11 700

Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 989

You deserved it 3 150

Today, I found out that my mother intentionally donated the quilt that I had made for her, because, "It didn't match anything". That was $70 worth of fabric and 7 and a half weeks spent on that handiwork of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 107

You deserved it 971

Today, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch and his legs were on my lap. We heard a loud firework from somewhere outside our window, we both jumped and I felt the pain of him kicking me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 274

You deserved it 449

Same thing different taste

Thanks mom

The struggle

You what?

Top comments

Comments