Intimacy: Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian,...

By whovian - 25/12/2014 15:17 - United States - Gorham

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 548

You deserved it 4 634

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Same thing different taste

By djl - 20/12/2012 05:30 - Canada - Beaumont

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 078

You deserved it 15 372

By Anonymous - 16/07/2010 23:43 - United States

Today, I learned that my mom's laptop was originally my Christmas gift. She opened it and decided she liked it so much she should have it. I got hot rollers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 762

You deserved it 2 733

By Anonymous - 01/12/2014 17:55 - United States

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 732

You deserved it 15 209

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 286

You deserved it 2 451

Prank war W

By Anonymous - 20/08/2014 21:03 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 377

You deserved it 9 945

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By Can't Unsee - 25/08/2018 22:00

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 176

You deserved it 575

By Amazon Ruined My Life - 28/12/2018 14:00

Today, my mother opened her birthday gift in front of my entire family. Two days ago, I ordered an essential oil diffuser and flesh light from Amazon. Guess which one she got? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 3 427

By BrokenVow - 30/07/2009 12:02 - Canada

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 981

You deserved it 53 801

By Anonymous - 26/12/2009 01:23 - United States

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 566

You deserved it 3 394

Then it dawned on me…

By Bad dad - 14/08/2022 22:00

Today, at my mom's house, my daughter came running up to me with some sort of love heart hair band, demanding to wear it straight away. After a solid 30 seconds trying to figure out how the band fit around a child's head it started vibrating. It was my mom's sex toy from her bedside drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 194

tipsy2013 24

Friday 26 December 2014 3:44

I think OP's mom was telling her to go screw herself.

teentee401 36

Friday 26 December 2014 0:27

Whovian. A fan of the show Doctor Who.

Comments

CharlotteRefer 10

Tuesday 30 December 2014 1:02

Hope it's not from a thrift store then...

LadyNightowl 17

Thursday 1 January 2015 7:39

Oh geez. This makes me glad my parents are Whovians too, so I get appropriate Doctor Who themed gifts every year.

AngelApocalypse 12

Thursday 1 January 2015 12:31

I'm a whovian too! I really cannot imagine a ***** looking like a sonic screwdriver haha. Does it at least make the sound? :P

lonerlarry123 12

Thursday 1 January 2015 23:09

Awkward

Chrisseruss 13

Friday 2 January 2015 4:42

You can sonic-screw yourself XD

sexyg 0

Sunday 4 January 2015 10:50

use a dick instead of a *****..?

TheDoctor0914 13

Monday 5 January 2015 9:09

Fellow whovian its alright i got adipose anal beeds for christmas

ThuNDeY 23

Tuesday 20 January 2015 22:45

So? Did you use it???

DalekWarrior26 9

Sunday 8 March 2015 3:26

still is a sonic screwdriver

sortablondish 7

Thursday 26 November 2015 7:56

i want one! just kidding. I want a real sonic....i only have a knockoff...OOOOOOH!! or the sonic sunglasses!

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight

The Top

Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 573

You deserved it 6 604

Today, yet again I had to lie to a date about what I do for a living, because every time I tell someone the truth, that I work in private equity, they have some choice words about "people like me ruining things" and "ruining the housing prices." I feel like an evil James Bond or something. FML

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I agree, your life sucks 43 645

You deserved it 6 022

Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 450

You deserved it 3 556

Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend across the street. I was walking with a girl whom I'd been hooking up with and wanted to make my ex-girlfriend jealous. I kissed her and she immediately smacked me. I got a "ha-ha" text message from my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 590

You deserved it 96 922

Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 371

You deserved it 2 088

Today, I gave a technical presentation to a group of male colleagues. I was surprised by how attentive they were until I went to the washroom and realized that they could see every detail of my nipples through my new shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 392

You deserved it 16 301

Today, my body has decided that sleeping past 4 a.m. is strange idea and should be resisted. It is also of the opinion that any duration of sleep less than 10 hours per night constitutes a lack thereof, which deserves physical signs of tiredness, like looking several years older. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 128

Same thing different taste

Prank war W

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Then it dawned on me…

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