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I bet the grandma is a member of Hell's Grannies so she's a tough customer.
23- The only thing I can think of is OP's mom giving some sort of ultimatum about OP loving either her or the grandmother. Maybe saying something along the lines of "if you really loved me, you wouldn't be visiting someone you know I hate and spending your time with her knowing that it hurts me." But that's a situation similar to one that happened in my family recently, so I may be way off base.
#29, that's the same kind of shit my parents attempt to put me through. That's also part of why I moved out of their house and away from them as soon as humanly possible when I turned 18. Now that I'm not with them 24/7, our relationship has actually gotten better (if only slightly). Hope your situation gets better!
43- I'm sorry you have to deal with that. No one should ever have to. It's good that you moved out, though. Sometimes the relationship between kids and their parents is better off having some distance. Thank you. Unfortunately, it's my sister's husband giving her that ultimatum about me. He hates me because I have been talking to my sister about leaving him before his abuse escalates further. He seems to think I'm the one who told her to leave him, when in reality she came to me and said she wants to make a plan to leave him when she feels safe enough to. Hopefully things will be resolved soon so that she can start over and finally have a chance at the happy, peaceful life she deserves
Guilt games can work both ways......
You're an adult (I'm assuming) and can make your own decisions. Don't let her guilt you into anything.
Just 'forget' to go to your mums place
Her rivalries are her rivalries, not yours. Don't let her thoughts and feelings get in the way of your life and who you visit. You love your grandmother, she doesn't. Tough luck for her, you're gonna see your grandmother.
Go see your grandmother. You have nothing to do with their beef and your grandma would love to see you, seeing as she bought your ticket to go home.
No matter how much I hate someone, I would never convince others to side with me and gang up on him/her. It's so childish; your mother should be ashamed of her actions. It's Thanksgiving for goodness sake, you should be allowed to see all of your family, including your grandmother.
if a mother is that kind of person, shes a shitty mother
It wouldn't be thanksgiving without the whole family!
Keywords
You're an adult (I'm assuming) and can make your own decisions. Don't let her guilt you into anything.
Fight her.