Miscellaneous: Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming...

By mammasboy - 21/05/2013 18:30 - United States - Springfield

Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years-old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 953

You deserved it 5 373

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Same thing different taste

By soliveyerlife - 21/03/2009 09:35 - United States

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home at 1am this morning from a friend's birthday party. I'm 30 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 045

You deserved it 128 103

WTF mom?

By whowhat - 11/07/2013 06:26 - United States

Today, I came home at 1 am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 664

You deserved it 4 039

How very dare you?

By 1357katie - 19/09/2009 04:22 - Canada

Today, I told my mom about the couple of times that I'd skipped classes during high school. She got really mad and grounded me for a month. That would usually be normal except for the fact that I'm 27 and live in my own apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 729

You deserved it 6 288

Logic

By thyisnothorses - 29/04/2012 03:55 - United States - Scituate

Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 248

You deserved it 3 100

By Anonymous - 16/06/2017 06:00 - United States - North Olmsted

Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 811

You deserved it 389

By Anonymous - 10/05/2013 19:28 - United States - Warren

Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 677

You deserved it 6 461

Simmer down

By Anonymous - 07/03/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I got yelled at by my mother for making noise after midnight. What was the noise? The microwave as I made something to eat. I work the night shift and had just come home from work, and I'm the only person in this house with a job. Apparently, me not paying her overdue bills cancels that out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 93

By yourebeautiful - 31/12/2011 20:37 - United States

Today, my mom took my cell to work with her. When she got home later, she scolded me for not answering her calls. When I pointed out that she'd taken it, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 122

You deserved it 2 829

By sophiae123 - 18/01/2015 03:50 - United States - Cadillac

Today, my parents threatened to take away my college funds. Why? Because I complained about my 10 pm curfew during break as a freshman in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 435

You deserved it 5 313

Where are you?

By Anonymous - 14/04/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, it's been three weeks since my parents went on holiday and not only have they not called me, they don’t answer when I call them… until today, when my mom finally called me, whilst I was having sex. She then sent me a text outlining how rude it was I ignored her call and grounded me. I’m 24 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 127

mylifeisgreat9 13

Wednesday 22 May 2013 0:00

Kick them out. They seem like terrible people

friedpwnadge 25

Wednesday 22 May 2013 0:02

Threaten to give them a curfew if they insist on insulting you in your own home.

Comments

IliekLoki 7

Wednesday 22 May 2013 3:18

Overly Attached Mom

crazyclown00 17

Wednesday 22 May 2013 4:40

OP is probably to dumb to realize she was joking.

KingGeorgeGal 12

Wednesday 22 May 2013 7:27

Too*

dakatabg 31

Wednesday 22 May 2013 4:40

Wow, show her who the boss is and where the front door is located.

Jharrist89 12

Wednesday 22 May 2013 5:04

Turn the washer on while she's in the shower. You'll both be even!

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 22 May 2013 5:15

It's your house so it's your rules...you have all control...things keep going on like this just remove them...problem solved...

LyraAlluse 25

Wednesday 22 May 2013 5:31

If you come home past midnight all of the magic will wear off and it will harder to find your one true love.

bryan788 29

Wednesday 22 May 2013 6:04

mom's be crazy

kidsgotastinky 11

Wednesday 22 May 2013 6:41

Plot twist you made this fml to show how successful you are. Double plot twist you're not and you're a liar.

KingGeorgeGal 12

Wednesday 22 May 2013 7:22

Why do they live with you?

julian0605 9

Wednesday 22 May 2013 7:40

Your house, your rules.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 483

You deserved it 11 507

Today, my husband has been out partying all night. While my in-laws didn't ask him a single question, earlier I received more than six calls from them about when I'll be home to cook and clean. Where was I? In the office for the first time after working from home for past 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 058

You deserved it 111

The Top

Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 144

You deserved it 2 839

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 982

You deserved it 407

Today, I yelled, "Fuck me, oh shit!" instinctively after accidentally spilling boiling hot coffee all over myself. My 3-year-old niece found this hilarious, and won't stop saying "Fuck my shit." Her parents are due to pick her up any moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 223

You deserved it 766

Today, according to my boyfriend, getting me to orgasm takes so long that about 90% of his mental energy is directed at him trying not to orgasm first, so he never really enjoys himself. When he fails to get me to orgasm, I apparently use the forbidden sex phrase “It's fine” which makes him feel worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 663

Today, I'm in Vegas to celebrate my 22nd birthday. I should be out having a blast, but a stomach virus thought otherwise. I'll be spending my birthday stuck in my hotel room eating microwaved soup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 474

You deserved it 2 801

Today, one of my closest friends informed me that she wasn't going to invite me to her wedding, because I'm too shy and not enough fun, and she doesn't want her 200 or so guests to feel uncomfortable. I was the one who set the happy couple up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 623

You deserved it 4 309