Intimacy and TMI: Today, my mom told me that her vagina is "as cute today as it...

By justawallflower - 30/11/2014 02:06 - United States - Elyria

Today, my mom told me that her vagina is "as cute today as it was twenty years ago." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 158

You deserved it 3 152

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Still the same

By John Doe - 10/01/2020 05:00

Today, my mom showed to my girlfriend my naked baby photos. My girlfriend said, "Nothing’s changed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 716

You deserved it 370

Nice!

By growlr - 20/07/2011 09:17 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 852

You deserved it 5 827

By Anonymous - 15/07/2012 04:09 - United States - Aston

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 648

You deserved it 5 649

By HylianFox - 27/01/2012 04:07 - United States

Today, my parents had a long discussion on whether a cut on my arm looked like a vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 198

You deserved it 3 067

By FMluck - 26/02/2009 22:11 - United States

Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his and that at least mine wasn't smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that your vag was the same way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 528

You deserved it 67 723

By prinzess - 09/12/2010 14:20 - Germany

Today, I said to my wife that I wished I had met her 20 years ago. Her response was, "Twenty years ago I had beautiful tits and many options, I wouldn't have even looked at you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 230

You deserved it 5 912

Thanks for sharing

By uni life - 15/05/2012 08:08 - Australia - Perth

Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 223

You deserved it 2 852

By ugly duckling - 06/08/2015 19:18 - United States - Reston

Today, feeling very self-conscious about my looks, I told my mom I felt ugly and wished I could be as beautiful as her. She only said, "Yeah, I'm pretty, I wonder what happened to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 063

You deserved it 3 154

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 236

You deserved it 96 461

By krt - 03/10/2010 23:29 - United States

Today, my dad found the ugliest picture my mom has ever taken. I show it to her laughing. She said it looks like me. I looked again and it kind of does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 090

You deserved it 7 805

chazzywazzy654 22

Sunday 30 November 2014 14:32

*Frantically searches for brain bleach*

Welshite 39

Sunday 30 November 2014 14:35

I'll bet she's happy as a clam about it too.

Comments

flyingpenguins 5

Sunday 30 November 2014 15:27

TMI....

CallMeBatman 15

Sunday 30 November 2014 15:29

Thanks, mom.

RA91 26

Sunday 30 November 2014 15:34

I'm sure you could have totally gone without that op. It's still funny though, lol!

granCanyon 12

Sunday 30 November 2014 15:39

The meaning of the FML can vary greatly depending on OP's age and gender.

martin8337 35

Sunday 30 November 2014 15:52

Makes you want to stick icepicks in your ears, or right in the forehead.

Manosapo 18

Sunday 30 November 2014 15:57

Put that on top of your list of things you wished you never heard

fuckercakes 21

Sunday 30 November 2014 16:18

Why would you tell us this, this is an F all of our lives now

clairesucks 37

Monday 1 December 2014 1:15

That's what FML is for. If you don't like it, get off

Ditagein 14

Sunday 30 November 2014 16:20

i mean you cant shame someone for feeling good about themselves can you ? its rare now a days

Sakuraashita 15

Sunday 30 November 2014 16:32

Trust me, #12, nobody wants to be quite that close with their parents.

royal_ranger 12

Sunday 30 November 2014 16:33

Cringe moment worthy?

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Cheating Jealousy Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 525

You deserved it 1 300

Today, I called back a number I'd recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was my boyfriend's fiancée's number. I've been with him four years, he's been with her for six. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 136

You deserved it 4 976

The Top

Today, I had breakfast at a hotel in Jamaica. The bill came to $1087 Jamaican Dollars, which is roughly $8.30 USD. When they swiped my Visa card, the hotel accidentally charged me $1087 USD. That's the most expensive omelet I've had in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 191

You deserved it 165

Today, I spent the entire day at the hospital and was sent home attached to an obnoxious and somewhat painful heart monitor. I felt fine and decided to go to a bonfire with a few friends. I thought everyone was being nice until I overheard the guys referring to me as an unattractive xbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 312

You deserved it 3 312

Today, I tried to scare what I thought was a stray cat away from my friend's car in our work parking garage by hitting the panic button on his keys, which did, indeed, make the creature panic. That's when I learned it was not a cat. It was a skunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 404

You deserved it 13 752

Today, I saw a friend’s Instagram post. She's lost so much weight since the last time I saw her, so I slid in her DMs hoping to score a date. It was going quite well until I asked her out and she responded, “You’re only asking me out because I’m skinny now, right? You’re barking up the wrong tree” and she blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 1 229

Today, I took an Uber from work to my friend's home. My water bottle, which was in my backpack in the back seat, leaked and left a little water on his fabric seat. I got an $80 "professional cleaning" bill from Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 662

You deserved it 752

Today, I realized that getting an awesome new phone with all the new bells and whistles doesn't mean that people will now actually want to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 030

You deserved it 27 379