Miscellaneous: Today, my mother asked me how pasta is harvested. She actually... - FML

By a - 12/05/2015 16:37 - United Kingdom - Ascot

Today, my mother asked me how pasta is harvested. She actually thought it grew out of the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 724

You deserved it 2 544

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Same thing different taste

Masterchef

By WhatHaveIDone - 24/03/2021 11:01

Today, my daughter tried to make pasta by putting a pot on the stove, pouring the noodles in without adding water, and turning on the stove. Then she asked me, "How come these aren’t getting soft like when you make them?" She’s 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 712

Now we're cooking

By Anonymous - 05/05/2023 15:00 - Canada

Today, I made homemade pasta from scratch. I spent hours kneading the dough, rolling it out, and cutting it into perfect strips. When I went to cook it, I realized that I forgot to add salt to the dough. The pasta tasted like damp cardboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 273

By Anonymous - 22/06/2019 18:02

Today, I offered to help my mother-in-law boil noodles for some noodle soup. She loudly said, "You know how!?" I'm a chef. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 621

You deserved it 142

Gullible's travels

By Anonymous - 20/01/2015 00:45 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my 15 year-old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 581

You deserved it 2 798

By Cogibbt - 03/08/2019 12:00 - Canada

Today, my mom found out that paper is made from trees. She read it on a garbage truck. I then had to explain to her how it's made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 556

You deserved it 142

By damnthedog - 19/01/2013 07:40 - Australia - Wollongong

Today, I found out that my home-made pasta sauce had a weird taste to it because my basil patch in the backyard has become my dog's preferred spot to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 300

You deserved it 7 366

Yummy

By Veggie dinner - 01/07/2024 16:00 - Germany - Essen

Today, I was boiling pasta and tasting it every now and then too see if it was done. As an afterthought, I threw in some lentil pasta as well. Only after tasting a few more times did I notice the maggots that were now slowly rising in the boiling water. I didn't expect that much protein in those lentils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 145

Recycling at its finest

By Anonymous - 09/10/2022 16:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a vegetarian meal at my date's house. She was very proud because she grew all the veggies herself; she even made the fertiliser herself. I was halfway through the meal before I asked what she meant by "made her own fertiliser." It was human shit; her own human shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 534

You deserved it 239

Pica?

By Anonymous - 21/06/2021 17:59

Today, my mom ate some flowers without knowing if they were safe. Turns out they are slightly poisonous and she had an upset stomach, but she will be fine. Her excuse? "I didn't know it had poison." I had to explain that's exactly why you don't eat plants you don't know are poisonous or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 97

By Anonymous - 23/08/2011 02:17 - United States

Today, I had a mild allergic reaction from eating pasta salad. I told my mom that I might be allergic to the parsley, since it was the only ingredient that I don't eat often. She made me eat a sprig of it to "make sure." Now my face is covered in hives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 731

You deserved it 4 559

Next

Top comments

Hoopachi 19

Wednesday 13 May 2015 0:33

That's prePASTArus!

unknowncat 6

Wednesday 13 May 2015 0:40

Well, the grain that pasta is made from goes in the ground.

Comments

BananaCoconutty 26

Wednesday 13 May 2015 0:46

I think it's time to send her to a "home".

EvilTurtle 35

Wednesday 13 May 2015 1:04

That's terrible

BananaCoconutty 26

Wednesday 13 May 2015 1:20

It was a joke, I wasn't serious

91hayek 31

Wednesday 13 May 2015 1:34

"It was a joke. I wasn't serious." *look at your profile pic* For some reason the combination is hilarious. Mate, the face you're making is not jokey at all lmao.

hailhydra 6

Thursday 14 May 2015 22:32

ctfu funniest shit I've read all day, you guys are HIlariousss

CommentKing207 23

Wednesday 13 May 2015 0:49

Just thank the lord you were not raised like her

gintwinsmoore 20

Wednesday 13 May 2015 12:40

Who do you think raised OP then??? I mean, there are others that could have but more than likely, who could have other than OP's mother???

CommentKing207 23

Thursday 14 May 2015 4:28

I never said she wasn't raised BY her mom, just that she wasn't raised LIKE her, to believe that pasta is actually homegrown

CommentKing207 23

Thursday 14 May 2015 4:32

I never implied that OP wasn't raised BY her mom, just to be glad she wasn't raised LIKE her mom

brvnnx 18

Wednesday 13 May 2015 0:51

That's crazy! Who would think pasta grows out of the ground, did she thing you pull it out of the ground and voila?

hippodankamus 22

Wednesday 13 May 2015 0:53

I hope your family isn't Italian. They'd probably ostracize her.

buckdharma 37

Wednesday 13 May 2015 1:20

Or call her out as a impasta.

truckers_wife 23

Wednesday 13 May 2015 0:58

just a glance at the ingredients list should tell a person that it doesn't grow from the ground because there's a lot more than just one ingredient.

Exaspera 54

Wednesday 13 May 2015 1:11

Well, there are spaghetti trees in Italy. You didn't know that!!?

shadow101707 9

Wednesday 13 May 2015 1:22

Yeah TECHNICALLY pasta is a grain. Maybe she was asking about the process (giving her super benefit of the doubt)

RealSuperSand 21

Wednesday 13 May 2015 1:23

Wow. Sounds like my mom, the stupidity is strong with this one.

91hayek 31

Wednesday 13 May 2015 1:26

If only pasta grew in the wild. And instead of sap, a certain tree would have marinara or carbonara sauce that you could tap and bottle. We need science to make this happen please.

buckdharma 37

Wednesday 13 May 2015 1:36

What, no one has heard of Gianni Spaghettiseed?

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The Top

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 487

You deserved it 38 932

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend we should avoid the local walking trail after I got followed by a homeless man. He assured me we’d be fine and the guy wouldn’t approach me as long as I had a man with me. Wrong. We both got beat up and robbed by said homeless man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 199

You deserved it 354

Today, a guy I'd been seeing off and on for the past three years broke things off over a Facebook message. I replied, and told him that I was at least worth a phone call. He replied "Well, I'm sorry, I disagree." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 803

You deserved it 4 674

Today, at physical therapy, the girl next to me had a blue armband. I said, "Hey, sweet iPod". She said, "Actually, I have diabetes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 371

You deserved it 41 646

Today, I realized how tiny my apartment is, when I was able to vacuum from bedroom to bathroom through the living room without switching the power outlet from the one in the kitchen. I pay a fortune to live in this shoebox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 694

You deserved it 10 055

Today, I had to cancel all of the plans to go away on a romantic weekend with my boyfriend. My parents are going out of town for a night and I have to stay home a babysit my little sister. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 756

You deserved it 5 116

Today, despite house prices in my area being the highest they've been in ten years, my mother insists that the reason I can't afford one is not due to insane inflation, but because I'm single. She also seems to conveniently forget that she was a large contributing factor to the end of my last relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 148