By Litterbox - 20/04/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks 147 260
You deserved it 17 288

Litterbox tells us more.

Litterbox 0

Wow O_o I can't believe how much of a response this thing is getting(first post ever...) But for clarification:(Skip if you want...Blah) a) Since my mother was willing to beat me with a metal end of a broom for claiming Hitler and the events of the holocaust were wrong and has a machete at the ready underneath her bed, the threat was/is to be taken seriously, wouldn't you think... (Is she still hilarious?) b) Kill me, sure, but THE KID??? c)I would've loved for my mother to have been concerned/open enough with me to have an actual conversation about sex... Blegh -_-

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Top comments

Juli_fml 0

anyone else think there should be a "parents" section on here?

147 4

Comments

Djosef_fml 0

OP, wait, wait... wait. If your mother is THAT late for ''The Talk'', just pwn her by saying ''But mommy, how do you get pregnant?'' She will blush, avoid eye contact, and run away from you. That, or just call the police because she said she would kill you. That's not a mother, that's a psychopath.

1 1
masteroftheWTF 0

Whoever said the whole thing about dying if you're financially unstable with a kid, this is complete idiocy. Think before you speak, remember that in this country we are hovering at around 8% unemployment. Define financially stable because the average middle class family is one lost paycheck from bankruptcy and the average person has 2.3 children and somewhere on the order of ten thousand in credit card debt. What if you have student loans, I'm going to law school in 2 years and probably gonna have forty grand in debt when I come out... does that mean I never have kids or get shot. Wow, you're ignorant, and you have no ******* clue of the simple economics of today's world and you haven't even defined half the terms in your argument. Thus, you should **** off.

2 0
charbz 0

#224 the only unfortunate thing is your spelling along with your way of thinking. How the hell are parents a bad thing in your life? I wish they dumped you in Africa so you learn to appreciate how lucky you are. ignorant asshole

0 0
yusaku02 20

Best... Mom... Ever...

2 0
newwitch2010 11

Um, hello county hospital psych ward, I've got a homicidal woman threatening my life and I'd like a private padded stall for her. thanks much.

1 0
Rainbowjumper0 12

Um, that's not completely scary or creepy at all... Your mother needs to grow up.

0 0
thearcticfox25 0

ur mom Is a doush bag and a fag for saying that

0 0