By Litterbox - 20/04/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks 147 260
You deserved it 17 288

Litterbox tells us more.

Litterbox 0

Wow O_o I can't believe how much of a response this thing is getting(first post ever...) But for clarification:(Skip if you want...Blah) a) Since my mother was willing to beat me with a metal end of a broom for claiming Hitler and the events of the holocaust were wrong and has a machete at the ready underneath her bed, the threat was/is to be taken seriously, wouldn't you think... (Is she still hilarious?) b) Kill me, sure, but THE KID??? c)I would've loved for my mother to have been concerned/open enough with me to have an actual conversation about sex... Blegh -_-

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Top comments

Juli_fml 0

anyone else think there should be a "parents" section on here?

147 4

Comments

Bobby64 29

I doubt the OP's a dude if her mom's concerned about her getting pregnant. Just sayin'. :/

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3Chris28 0

Well, what if she didn't come home? If she gets to be pregnant, they've gotta have a place to live. So, she hasn't come home, and she can have a child. Problem solved?

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Gumbercules1 0

It sounds like you should have donkey punched that **** in the face and said that if she ever comes home drunk and abusive your gonna tie her ass to the ground and let 8 men rape her then back over her with her vehicle for driving home drunk.

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TiffyterroriZe 9

O.- What a horrible thing to say to your daughter.

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Koolgirl15 0

.. What the ****?

1 0
muka92 6

my mom pushed my Sis and her bf up the stairs in our house and said don't come down til I have a grand baby

2 1
Fakeddd 0

O.O Crazy cat lady?

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Bobby64 29

So many comments, yet so few Texas jokes... Oh well. Anyway, this was real funny. FYL, OP.

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