Kids: Today, my mother called to say that my 11-year-old nephew found...

By peneloperigby - 03/02/2009 06:51 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother called to say that my 11-year-old nephew found my secret stash of nipple tassels, furry hand cuffs, and a bottle of lube. He doesn't want to visit me anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 061

You deserved it 32 125

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Same thing different taste

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By Can't Unsee - 25/08/2018 22:00

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 181

You deserved it 577

By dry spell - 02/07/2013 16:17 - United States - Belfair

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 250

You deserved it 4 797

By Kay - 02/06/2013 19:00 - India - Nagari

Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 274

You deserved it 6 495

You're under arrest

By poo_shoe123 - 31/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 623

You deserved it 10 233

Egg mode

By KillahCam - 26/01/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 124

You deserved it 2 603

Overreacting much?

By But you drink alcohol though - 19/04/2023 03:00

Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 708

They see me rolling…

By CharlieP - 08/05/2023 22:00

Today, I’m walking around the streets with my stuff in a rolling suitcase. My mom saw fit to kick me out of the house because she found sextoys in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 148

You deserved it 238

One day…

By Animal - 24/02/2011 19:14 - Canada

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 287

You deserved it 17 107

By szechuansauce - 10/04/2017 20:00

Today, my nine-year-old niece found my coloring book that features swear words. I took it away and hid it in a different spot. No less than an hour later, her younger sister found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 048

You deserved it 1 359

By Lois - 09/02/2013 12:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 760

You deserved it 5 957

aridawn 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 19:50

I wouldn't want him over anymore if he's digging through your stuff! What a little brat!

Guiseppi 0

Friday 6 March 2009 9:44

Heh, nipple tassels. That's just funny.

Comments

doglover100 28

Monday 3 March 2014 19:51

You need a better hiding place then.

snazzymcwho 21

Tuesday 31 March 2015 15:58

Kids are total prudes OP. Don't let it bother you. He'll understand when he's older.

skyrim_fanatic 17

Friday 26 June 2015 20:00

that sux

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Gross Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Am I overreacting? Intimacy Management

The Top

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 150

You deserved it 39 590

Today, my wedding limo driver got high and forgot to pick us up, so the photographers gave us a ride back to the venue from the photo shoot. Three bridesmaids, a flower girl, and I, in my full wedding dress, had to fit in the back of the 1997 Toyota Camry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 647

You deserved it 390

The Top

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 759

You deserved it 2 592

Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 475

You deserved it 5 893

Today, I decided to give a break to my students halfway through my 3 hour lecture. The break became the end of the lecture, because nobody came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 285

You deserved it 4 646

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 655

You deserved it 60 222

Today, my 15-year-old son was waiting in the car for me after driving around to build up hours for his permit. He then decided it was a good idea to quickly drive over to catch a Pokemon nearby. He didn't count on getting pulled over for texting and driving while underage without an adult though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 559

You deserved it 2 137

Today, I put my perfectly-broiled steak portion in the microwave to keep it from the cats while it rested. I accidentally hit "cook" instead of "timer". My perfect rare steak is now almost perfectly half-leather and half-charcoal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 862