Animals: Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already...

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 01:34 - United States - West Chester

Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 427

You deserved it 4 370

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 228

You deserved it 45 480

By patient_mom - 14/06/2015 01:27 - Australia - Surrey Hills

Today, I had to wait for my daughter's pet python to finish taking a bath before I could take a shower and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 074

You deserved it 3 980

Psssssych!

By Welcome to Florida - 20/07/2017 13:01

Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 340

You deserved it 540

Snek

By afraidtosleep - 13/10/2012 06:35 - United States - Houston

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 978

You deserved it 6 327

Sneeeeek!

By blindsparrow - 18/11/2014 05:35 - United States - Dublin

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 392

You deserved it 2 946

Alas, poor Tiddles

By SonOfACatKiller - 19/09/2019 08:00 - United States - Juno

Today, my mom asked me to pull out the load of laundry she'd stuck in the dryer. Instead of clothes, I pulled out my dead cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 613

You deserved it 132

Uh oh

By uh-oh - 25/03/2012 05:49 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 616

You deserved it 3 736

By dre_bro11 - 06/11/2011 12:17 - Australia

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 064

You deserved it 12 474

Lurker

By Katie - 20/02/2011 08:35 - Reserved

Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 068

You deserved it 3 101

By Alex Andreas - 02/07/2015 03:10 - United States - Edmond

Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 744

You deserved it 2 458

saifnaqvi11 21

Wednesday 3 June 2015 19:06

For ***** snake Mom

devildog562 33

Wednesday 3 June 2015 19:10

Sneaky snake . Shame though , nothing deserves to die like that .

Comments

igive 29

Wednesday 3 June 2015 19:17

Poor thing that's an awful way to go!

therealjc_fml 14

Wednesday 3 June 2015 19:18

**** her life as well.

wheresmymary 22

Wednesday 3 June 2015 19:19

Did it survive all that?

xwendifferx 16

Thursday 4 June 2015 4:53

I highly doubt it. Poor snake.

JRtheSnowman 5

Wednesday 3 June 2015 19:24

thats a clean kill for her

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 3 June 2015 19:27

Poor snake...was the washer and dryer alright?

ColonelCusswords 24

Wednesday 3 June 2015 19:44

On a possitive note its huggably soft. Fabric softener is the shit

LoyalSatanist666 13

Wednesday 3 June 2015 19:46

That is ****** up. I feel for u. ur mom should pay more attention to her surroundings.

iwadasn 32

Thursday 4 June 2015 2:35

If OP had been paying attention, the snake wouldn't have escaped in the first place.

mohd2089 6

Wednesday 3 June 2015 19:46

Atleast it died clean...

smackaroonial 20

Wednesday 3 June 2015 19:47

Was is clean?

Amorettex 19

Wednesday 3 June 2015 19:53

I'm sorry for your loss OP! I'm sure your mother didn't mean to :(

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Facebook Love Am I overreacting? Social Media AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Technology Education Relatable Students Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 636

You deserved it 42 714

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 093

You deserved it 13 428

The Top

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 924

You deserved it 3 090

Today, I dressed up as a ghost and walked down the street to meet my friends. A dog somehow got loose and decided my "flowy" costume was the perfect chew toy. I spent the evening dodging an overly enthusiastic dog and getting barked at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 93

Today, while skating to school, I got hit by a car, In front of the school. I went flying and everyone saw. The girl who hit me only said, "Oops, didn't see you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 120

Today, it's now the 10th girl who has gone out with me but ended up falling for one of my close friends, who she met through me. I starting to feel I am that guy in the movie "Good Luck Chuck". FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 84

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 257

You deserved it 6 581

Today, I was talking to my mom about who I wanted to ask to prom. I told her the names of the girls I was thinking of asking and she replied, "They'll say no, but you can always go with one of your cousins." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 251

You deserved it 3 306