Animals: Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already... - FML

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 01:34 - United States - West Chester

Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 424

You deserved it 4 370

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 228

You deserved it 45 479

By patient_mom - 14/06/2015 01:27 - Australia - Surrey Hills

Today, I had to wait for my daughter's pet python to finish taking a bath before I could take a shower and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 073

You deserved it 3 980

Psssssych!

By Welcome to Florida - 20/07/2017 13:01

Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 339

You deserved it 539

Snek

By afraidtosleep - 13/10/2012 06:35 - United States - Houston

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 978

You deserved it 6 327

Sneeeeek!

By blindsparrow - 18/11/2014 05:35 - United States - Dublin

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 391

You deserved it 2 945

Alas, poor Tiddles

By SonOfACatKiller - 19/09/2019 08:00 - United States - Juno

Today, my mom asked me to pull out the load of laundry she'd stuck in the dryer. Instead of clothes, I pulled out my dead cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 612

You deserved it 132

Uh oh

By uh-oh - 25/03/2012 05:49 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 615

You deserved it 3 736

By dre_bro11 - 06/11/2011 12:17 - Australia

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 063

You deserved it 12 473

Lurker

By Katie - 20/02/2011 08:35 - Reserved

Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 068

You deserved it 3 101

By Alex Andreas - 02/07/2015 03:10 - United States - Edmond

Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 743

You deserved it 2 458

Next

Top comments

saifnaqvi11 21

Wednesday 3 June 2015 19:06

For ***** snake Mom

devildog562 33

Wednesday 3 June 2015 19:10

Sneaky snake . Shame though , nothing deserves to die like that .

Comments

fml510605 16

Thursday 4 June 2015 5:41

RIP snake

SlipSpaceGixxer 13

Thursday 4 June 2015 5:47

there is no possible way this is true. you can't be that big of a ******* idiot to put a live animal in the dryer.

jlmsz 5

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:57

I'm sick of these mothereffing snakes in this mothereffing dryer!

EclipseCandy6 24

Thursday 4 June 2015 11:31

This made me pretty sad

ishtara 9

Thursday 4 June 2015 12:05

I'm so sorry for all the parties involved in that accident. I have ball pythons and thank god there were just two escapes up to now. They didn't get that far.

TamedLotus 3

Thursday 4 June 2015 17:20

No snakes where harmed in the making of this FML!? Guess not. Hope he lives

SydLovesLacey 18

Thursday 4 June 2015 20:02

Bounty fresh!

lucasstidd 4

Thursday 4 June 2015 23:39

Too bad your pet snake doesn't know how to use FML cus he should be the one posting...

Geckosrock99 33

Friday 5 June 2015 4:32

If she really washed and dried your snake, she really needs to do laundry differently. Check everything before putting it into the washer. I definitely would have noticed a pet snake In my laundry, especially an ice cold one. FYL, sorry for your loss.

carrissa3 13

Friday 5 June 2015 5:38

Sounds like you got a new belt lol.

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The Top

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 272

You deserved it 3 976

Today, my estranged wife threatened to slit her wrist with a razor blade if I did not send her $50,000. She sent me a picture of her pressing a Gillette Safety razor to her wrist. It looked like she was getting ready to shave her perpetually hairy arms. She never was the sharpest knife in the drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 76

The Top

Today, I found out that our smoke detector doesn't work when my roommate turned on the wrong burner while trying to cook. Our air fryer was on said burner, and it started to melt. It sat there for who knows how long until I noticed smoke everywhere and went to investigate. We don't have an air fryer now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 164

Today, I was pulling in to my work parking lot gate, accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the brake pedal, ran through the gate arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 714

You deserved it 1 299

Today, I did the whole 'rose petals, takeaway Chinese, favourite wine, and movie' thing. As soon as my wife got home, she said, “Great, now I have to sweep up rose petals, I’m not in the mood for Chinese, I was saving that wine, and I watched that movie last week.” I officially give up even trying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 347

You deserved it 283

Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 580

You deserved it 1 904

Today, my dad told me that I'm nothing but a burden because I can't work, and disability is worth nothing. It's not my fault I ended up in an abusive foster home that left me with spinal cord damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 430

You deserved it 273

Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed me goodnight, it made me think of a dying slug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 834

You deserved it 7 272