Animals: Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already... - FML

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 01:34 - United States - West Chester

Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 424

You deserved it 4 370

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 228

You deserved it 45 479

By patient_mom - 14/06/2015 01:27 - Australia - Surrey Hills

Today, I had to wait for my daughter's pet python to finish taking a bath before I could take a shower and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 073

You deserved it 3 980

Psssssych!

By Welcome to Florida - 20/07/2017 13:01

Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 339

You deserved it 539

Snek

By afraidtosleep - 13/10/2012 06:35 - United States - Houston

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 978

You deserved it 6 327

Sneeeeek!

By blindsparrow - 18/11/2014 05:35 - United States - Dublin

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 391

You deserved it 2 945

Alas, poor Tiddles

By SonOfACatKiller - 19/09/2019 08:00 - United States - Juno

Today, my mom asked me to pull out the load of laundry she'd stuck in the dryer. Instead of clothes, I pulled out my dead cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 612

You deserved it 132

Uh oh

By uh-oh - 25/03/2012 05:49 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 615

You deserved it 3 736

By dre_bro11 - 06/11/2011 12:17 - Australia

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 063

You deserved it 12 473

Lurker

By Katie - 20/02/2011 08:35 - Reserved

Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 068

You deserved it 3 101

By Alex Andreas - 02/07/2015 03:10 - United States - Edmond

Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 743

You deserved it 2 458

Next

Top comments

saifnaqvi11 21

Wednesday 3 June 2015 19:06

For ***** snake Mom

devildog562 33

Wednesday 3 June 2015 19:10

Sneaky snake . Shame though , nothing deserves to die like that .

Comments

AletheDefender 15

Wednesday 3 June 2015 23:36

That must have been awful, I hope you and your mom feel better soon

ham_spam 17

Thursday 4 June 2015 0:29

Look on the bright side maybe it's a different color now

TomeDr 24

Thursday 4 June 2015 0:41

That happened to my mother with a mouse. I'll never forget her scream when the mouse fell out of something she was folding just out of the dryer. Wasn't a pet though.

Witchylady 17

Thursday 4 June 2015 0:52

Oh no. I feel so sorry for the snake.

EarlFug 19

Thursday 4 June 2015 1:23

Jokes and puns aside, if you have a pet it's your responsibility to care for it. Please be more careful in the future.

Hop6e 22

Thursday 4 June 2015 2:12

I don't even like snakes but uh! Poor little dude! Keep better watch on your pets hun!

vikky538 28

Thursday 4 June 2015 4:00

Snakes in washer and dryer.

Pantsformer 7

Thursday 4 June 2015 4:20

Dry clean only.

eliiteXXXninja 21

Thursday 4 June 2015 4:24

We definitely need a follow up to this.

IreneProblems 14

Thursday 4 June 2015 4:53

So... did it live?

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The Top

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 306

You deserved it 125 963

Today, my seventy-year-old male live-in landlord asked if I'd heard a low humming noise the last few nights, around midnight, as someone had mentioned it. I feigned ignorance, whilst silently lamenting the decline of my self-pleasure opportunities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 283

The Top

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 412

You deserved it 3 308

Today, I announced to my friends that I'd proposed to my girlfriend and she'd said yes. I thought they'd be happy for me, since they were the ones who introduced me to her after all. Instead, they all were flabbergasted. One told me, "You realize we set you up with that fat chick as a joke, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 007

You deserved it 176

Today, I took a shower and went to put clothes on after, only to find no clothes in my closet. My mom took them all and hid them. No idea why. No idea when I will get them back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 982

You deserved it 225

Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 782

You deserved it 3 457

Today, I had the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my lower right abdomen. I was doubled over and vomiting it hurt so bad. After going to the E.R., thinking it was my appendix and getting checked in, I let out the biggest most rancid fart in my life and the pain immediately went away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 906

You deserved it 413

Today, my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend got into a fight about when my birthday is. They were both wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 429

You deserved it 5 640