Miscellaneous: Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift... - FML

By kb - 18/11/2013 06:38 - United States

Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 678

You deserved it 4 044

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Hungover

By RedheadA - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 652

You deserved it 3 696

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By psychopumpkin - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Boston

Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 671

You deserved it 7 460

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By Turnipseed3 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 308

You deserved it 3 164

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By LucyLollipop - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 270

You deserved it 937

By justsomesummer - 26/01/2016 18:09 - United States - Beaverton

Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 912

You deserved it 1 668

Thanks for the info

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 848

You deserved it 634

Well done!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 609

You deserved it 5 045

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By Sober - 25/04/2023 03:00

Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 130

Hard no

By badsitter - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother stopped speaking to me because I won’t let her babysit anymore. Her idea of babysitting is to sit my daughter alone with a tablet and a pile of sugary junk food for 7 hours straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 676

You deserved it 381

Slippery when wet

By blewidstepr - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 887

You deserved it 6 520

Next

Top comments

Michael903 18

Monday 18 November 2013 13:00

Parents always give what we need. Not what we want.

Welshite 39

Monday 18 November 2013 12:59

No, you didn't.

Comments

atrandom 11

Monday 18 November 2013 13:54

Oh trust me. After giving birth those things will be your best friend.

JayThrntn 9

Monday 18 November 2013 13:56

The gift that keeps on giving!

inkoseh 6

Monday 18 November 2013 13:58

As someone who was pregnant and wished her doctor gave them to her earlier, trust me, they're a godsend. I also got giant pads for my shower, and although a little embarassed I was extremely thankful when I got home from the hospital. And no, they wont expire before you need them!

funky303 6

Monday 18 November 2013 14:00

Mother knows best

kaablam 17

Monday 18 November 2013 14:04

You'll be glad she did right after you have the baby!

lameuser 23

Monday 18 November 2013 14:07

At least now you won't be having those types of problems.

caysters 12

Monday 18 November 2013 14:08

That will most likely be needed after you deliver, so it's not completely a shitty gift. I hope that wasn't all she got you though.

iGottaFindBubbah 12

Monday 18 November 2013 14:46

They're not laxatives.

JMichael 25

Monday 18 November 2013 14:55

She could just be telling you to prepare your anus for when shit starts to fly.

Breegotcake 14

Monday 18 November 2013 14:55

It would be worse if it was used already. Honestly; baby clothes & stuff is really cheap. She could have made a new mommy survival kit.

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