Miscellaneous: Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I...

By pasquale - 20/09/2014 06:54 - Australia - Parramatta

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 049

You deserved it 5 631

Back to school
Is that it, have we really enjoyed the holidays? It's time to find the best back-to-school struggles. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Laura - 11/03/2011 05:20 - United States

Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 569

You deserved it 4 607

By MereLewis95 - 26/10/2011 08:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 458

You deserved it 4 533

By Anonymous - 16/06/2017 06:00 - United States - North Olmsted

Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 812

You deserved it 389

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 181

By emeraldarcher74 - 19/11/2016 18:34 - United States - Lake Stevens

Today, my mother made me a delicious meal of gravy, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, and cranberries. Overjoyed, I tried to give her a hug. Instead, I accidentally punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 267

You deserved it 1 346

Barred for life

By tariel - 22/05/2018 21:08

Today, I went to my favorite restaurant with my mother. The food took a little longer than usual to arrive and my mom threw a fit, complete with kicking and screaming, in the middle of the restaurant. My mom and I are both banned for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 246

You deserved it 420

By ZeroApostle4Ever - 23/02/2012 08:00 - United States

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 078

You deserved it 6 604

Hank Pecker

By Anonymous - 19/06/2013 15:29 - United States - Richmond

Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 163

You deserved it 3 616

Sabotage!

By WTF - 12/10/2012 23:00 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 944

You deserved it 1 687

By cl3v3l4nd5t34m3r - 04/06/2012 20:34 - United States - Geneva

Today, I got into a fight with my mom over the chores, and stormed out. When I returned later, I found the house had been egged. My mom told my dad she saw me do it, and he won't believe my side of the story. He says I'll be lucky if I see sunlight this summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 889

You deserved it 4 494

dimerneckel 22

Saturday 20 September 2014 19:32

Her emotions were all scrambled up!

buckdharma 37

Saturday 20 September 2014 19:40

It could have been worse. You could have came home 5 months late, and she hits you with a chicken.

Comments

mld4657 28

Saturday 20 September 2014 21:12

when it's dinner time your ass better not be late regardless off the situation. Lol. rules at my house

metreman 19

Saturday 20 September 2014 21:49

the yolk was on you

ber4fun 23

Saturday 20 September 2014 22:45

I'd hate to see what would happen if you were an hour late.

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Saturday 20 September 2014 22:55

It's a very aggressive and uncalled for reaction. Your mom's got issues.

captainsmegma 12

Saturday 20 September 2014 22:57

Well now you know the rules. Don't be late for dinner again.

shutupshane12 12

Saturday 20 September 2014 23:14

That's eggciting

sam193 14

Saturday 20 September 2014 23:17

She obviously just got a little egg-cited

Dean_N 15

Sunday 21 September 2014 0:07

God I cracked up when I read this

Ohshitdude 21

Sunday 21 September 2014 3:14

Makes me never want to be late to dinner again

VittorioCarter 8

Sunday 21 September 2014 4:02

That's a little harsh for coming home 5 minutes late

Keywords

Miscellaneous Clothes Relatable Shoes Insurance Transportation Cars Health Work Love Cheating Embarrassing Clumsy Food Awkward Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Dogs Cute Ironic Pranks Shopping Texting Mistakes Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 875

You deserved it 16 680

Today, I’m questioning everything about me. I’ve been in a relationship with the same guy for almost 3 years now, high school sweethearts if you will. Now I’m starting to question if I even like guys. I’ve never gotten off to a guy, but women? I’ve always gotten off to them. My boyfriend is so sweet, I don’t know how to do this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 170

The Top

Today, I found out that even if you have to go really bad, never burst into a bathroom stall assuming that it's vacant because you don't see any legs underneath. There might be a child in there, who will scream, and whose mother will burst in and start screaming at you for being a "pedo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 167

You deserved it 6 360

Today, my favorite fish died. To make things better my parents thought to take me out to dinner. We ate sushi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 584

You deserved it 6 645

Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 37

Today, campus security called to inform me that my car had been in an accident. I rushed down to the security office to find most of the officers laughing. A portable john blew over on to my car and smashed my rear window. Now, security calls me "Port-A-Potty Guy," and my car smells like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 412

You deserved it 2 318

Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 89

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 370

You deserved it 1 981