Valentine's slay, Intimate moments and Intimacy: Today, my new boyfriend with whom I'm completely smitten called... - FML

By Yupppp. - 11/02/2015 06:25 - United States - Flushing

Spicy

Today, my new boyfriend with whom I'm completely smitten called me and told me he had an early Valentine's Day gift for me. Gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 334

You deserved it 5 292

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Cheers

By imgoingtofreakout - 26/12/2017 19:00

Spicy

Today, my Christmas present from my boyfriend was chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 559

You deserved it 656

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 19:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, while with my new boyfriend, my ex called to tell me I needed to go to the doctor to get checked out. He had gotten an STD from the girl he cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 275

You deserved it 4 138

By Infected - 20/02/2011 17:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 034

You deserved it 19 913

By ahhh - 03/08/2015 06:06 - United States - Northbrook

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 978

You deserved it 7 356

By lowlife123 - 01/05/2012 03:01 - United States - Manawa

Spicy

Today, I found out my boyfriend gave me a surprise birthday present: herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 961

You deserved it 7 439

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 19/12/2009 11:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, after realizing it burned when I peed, I found out the boy I waited two years to have sex with gave me gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 794

You deserved it 7 273

By unluckybirthdaykid - 11/09/2017 23:15

Today, my birthday, was going great until my boyfriend received a text from a girl saying he gave her chlamydia. Now I have no boyfriend, but at least I have the chlamydia keeping me company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 506

You deserved it 423

By anonymous - 04/07/2012 14:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend proposed. Two hours later I get a text from my ex announcing he has just been diagnosed with chlamydia. I now have to explain this to my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 184

You deserved it 34 786

Ménage à nope

By 3somer - 20/08/2017 04:29

Spicy

Today, I received a text from the woman with whom my boyfriend and I recently had a threesome. After years of fantasizing, I finally experienced what it was like to be with another girl. Now we also get to experience what it's like to have gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 045

You deserved it 5 096

By Justkillme - 15/11/2018 03:00

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 691

You deserved it 444

Next

Top comments

mellajella 14

Wednesday 11 February 2015 14:39

At least it's not an untreatable STD.

CurvyisCool 22

Wednesday 11 February 2015 14:44

It's the gift that keeps on giving.

Comments

kalbrek009 20

Thursday 12 February 2015 17:17

New boyfriend? If you haven't been with him for at least 6-12 months you shouldn't be "smitten", however it would be wise to get rid of a guy who's obviously fooling around on you or didn't get himself checked before being with you...I have a YDI because it appears you didn't use protection & because that's "looking for love in all the wrong places" in my opinion.

gmaginn777 5

Thursday 12 February 2015 23:34

Lol

ice2eskimos 3

Friday 13 February 2015 2:26

You deserve a round of applause!

Sugar_ray17 3

Friday 13 February 2015 15:46

person with a std

savaj 3

Saturday 14 February 2015 17:13

Have you heard of condom?

mandi52511 2

Sunday 15 February 2015 4:45

probally should of used a condom

DeathWish5452 12

Thursday 28 January 2016 22:44

This was posted on my 15th bday

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

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If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 23

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 808

The Top

Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 3 371

Today, my dad nearly had a head-on collision with another car, but I grabbed the wheel at the last second, potentially saving both our lives. He spent the rest of the car trip pissed at me because I'd "interfered" with his driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 060

You deserved it 2 913

Today, I texted a close friend, who has the same first name as a coworker with the same first name, spelled one letter off. Both saved by first name only in my contacts. I ended up telling my coworker about the great value of my marijuana purchase. My company has a zero tolerance policy for marijuana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 1 635

Today, one of my best friends got over 6k followers on Instagram in less than 2 months. I've had my account almost two years and can't get over 500. I'm the one that taught her all the "cheats" to get into the algorithm. They worked for her but not for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 893

Today, I finally felt better after having the flu for two weeks. I decided to do some much-needed cleaning that I hadn't been able to do while sick. I tripped over my rug and broke my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 471

You deserved it 412

Today, I texted the hottest girl in the school saying, "I really like you, we should date". She responded with a text saying, "Sorry, I'm not into you." I then got a text saying, "Sorry, my brother stole my phone, and answered, but still it's no". I got rejected twice. Once by a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 989

You deserved it 12 294