Work: Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King... - FML

By earths_venus - 24/07/2010 07:44 - Australia

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 972

You deserved it 3 619

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Same thing different taste

By Poorman - 11/12/2011 01:03 - United Kingdom

Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 321

You deserved it 4 281

Workplace etiquette

By Anonymous - 04/03/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 465

Suck up

By Anonymous - 22/08/2015 06:58 - United States - Cadillac

Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 795

You deserved it 3 418

Goofs and gaffes

By Chelsea - 23/02/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I called my new boss by my old boss's name during a meeting. My new boss said nothing, but just glared at me in silence. Somehow, I think he wasn't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 239

By texasbest - 02/09/2015 02:39 - United States - Lindale

Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 750

You deserved it 2 022

Dat ass

By brandonborgie - 10/08/2021 04:01 - Australia

Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 126

Meritocracy is a lie

By Anonymous - 30/05/2023 00:02

Today, we got a new manager in his 20’s who has never worked our industry before. His introductory speech included, “and you will respect me as your superior.” Our veterans have pranked him three times already and he blames me because mine is the only name he seems able to remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 121

Grammar rules, OK!

By Anonymous - 21/09/2011 12:11 - United States

Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 113

You deserved it 9 400

Nepotism rules

By SHIIIIITTTT - 10/08/2012 23:16 - United States - Houston

Today, my new boss, the CEO's son, finally showed up for work, three days late and right after lunch break. His first order of business was to call a meeting and scream at everyone for not having a diet latte waiting for him on his desk. God help us all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 200

You deserved it 1 792

Time to run

By friendlessatwork - 02/10/2012 18:27 - United States - Storrs Mansfield

Today, I got a coworker at my new job in trouble, because he kept harassing me and asking me out, even after I clearly told him I wasn't interested. Turns out he's very popular around here, and everyone now hates me for being a trouble-maker and not "taking a compliment." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 841

You deserved it 3 725

Next

Top comments

Lindsaykae 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 19:14

kick his ass.

crabgass 3

Saturday 24 July 2010 19:16

o.O look him straight in the eye say it was love that killed the beast then run away

Comments

stormin972 0

Monday 26 July 2010 3:02

I agree with 48. Trip him as he walks past and then laugh at him and tell him to bow down bitch.

Mythdefied 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 2:28

Eh, it's just a co-worker. **** 'em. Find annoying, demeaning things to replace "King Kong" with and use them randomly.

doubledamn89 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 2:57

haha I agree with turbotalon

deebo_lovee 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 3:54

so i have amazing fmls and terrible moments that i submit and they never make it. how does this beat me and my friend finding my parents pleasing toys???

ColdGold 6

Tuesday 27 July 2010 22:10

Ding Dong King Kong. You could decorate his desk with banana peels. Glue desk drawers shut with Gorilla Glue. Drop bits of black dog hair about his area. Don't get caught.

ajxx323 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 4:38

man that guy is stupid. seriously king kong WTF?

wafflez4ever 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 5:12

tell him that he's a childish arse and call him King Crud or something.

dickster 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 7:59

???????????? What happened between you that incited that remark?

imsoprettylyk 0

Saturday 31 July 2010 17:36

lmao... i woulda been like.. ha! yeaaaaaa that will happen and walk away

OHno0er 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 10:44

Where's the sense of humor these days?? No need to be so serious, my goodness.

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I agree, your life sucks 63 490

You deserved it 4 181

Today, there was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, so I said, "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

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The Top

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You deserved it 3 002

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I agree, your life sucks 15 537

You deserved it 51 160

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I agree, your life sucks 39 728

You deserved it 2 848

Today, I got fired. There was a customer last night who showed up 2 minutes after our closing time, 11 p.m.. She knocked on the door many times, but I ignored her and kept sweeping the floor. She eventually left. Turns out she’s the VP’s daughter and told him I was “rude and inconsiderate” to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 217

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 183

You deserved it 4 856

Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 080

You deserved it 75 580