Kids: Today, my niece told me to go and find my own friends. She's...

By myheart75 - 07/08/2011 09:52 - Australia

Today, my niece told me to go and find my own friends. She's 2, and I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 528

You deserved it 5 878

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 03/02/2009 20:25 - United States

Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 736

You deserved it 7 802

Toxic people

By Armando de Carvalho - 10/10/2020 07:57

Today, I moved back with my mom, sister and niece after 10 years on my own. My niece is 11, we talked about life and she agrees my mom and my sister are toxic and that I should move out. She'll do it as soon as she's 18. I'm 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 196

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 12:03

Today, I told my mom I was going swimming with friends. She told me, in front of them, not to go into the deep end unless there was an adult around because I'm not old enough to swim on my own. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 981

You deserved it 203

My house, my rules

By Anonymous - 27/07/2022 00:01

Today, my daughter asked to go to a party and I said no, because I know some of the other people going and they're bad news. She then said she only asked permission as a courtesy, and is going anyway and just left. She lives with me but she did turn 18 last week, and I don’t know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 941

By Bear - 10/07/2017 04:30

Today, while picking up my 14-year-old sister, a friend of hers asked if I was her mother. I'm only 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 746

You deserved it 382

No introductions needed

By Anonymous - 18/02/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom - Bangor

Today, my younger half-sister discovered my existence. She then went to our grandparents' house, smashed my picture off their wall, and ransacked their house looking for other pictures of me to destroy. She's in her mid-twenties, behaving like a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 106

I get around

By Anonymous - 27/04/2022 22:00 - United States - Boiling Springs

Today, I found out my 11 year-old's best friend, who is two months older than her, is also her sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 240

You deserved it 141

Sentenced

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Orlando

Today, I realized I can't wait until my daughter moves out the house when she is 18. She's eight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 256

You deserved it 29 294

Outta control

By brother - 21/05/2024 21:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I had to have a serious talk with my little sister about trying to hook up with my friends. Married or not. She just turned 18 but I’m hoping this was the first and last time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 82

Lonely boy hiding behind the front door

By Anonymous - 17/03/2022 06:00

Today, I learned that my parents know that I have no friends when they told me to go and make some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 156

sieera00 8

Sunday 7 August 2011 19:15

Owned by a two year old u should be ashamed :D

eminemchick 19

Sunday 7 August 2011 19:20

forever alone...

Comments

insurednotoriety 0

Monday 8 August 2011 14:48

Go to a bar or something get wasted and socialize. Then sleep in a bush.

lilac268 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:49

Smart kid

Nuahavizu 17

Thursday 11 August 2011 3:39

i'll be your friend :D

Holy_ish 19

Thursday 11 August 2011 16:09

pwned

RubiksCubeIsLife 4

Thursday 18 August 2011 1:02

That is a bad situation...

captainamelia 5

Wednesday 24 August 2011 4:55

Listen to her.

teamPEETA 0

Wednesday 15 February 2012 7:34

I think she may be right,

Siena5687 4

Sunday 1 July 2012 21:10

Owned!!! Shes pretty smart for a two year old.

Starlight1 9

Saturday 12 December 2015 4:46

Because 2 year olds have amazing sentence structure? Yeah okay

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The Top

Today, I finally got my paycheck from working at my minimum wage job for the last three months. I was delighted when I saw it was worth $846. On my way to cash it, I destroyed my car's suspension. It's going to cost almost $800 to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 981

You deserved it 6 718

Today, my boyfriend talked me into wearing vibrating underwear in public and of course we bumped into my mom shopping, and of course he chose that moment to turn them on with the remote. The vibrating was way louder than we were expecting, and my mom just walked away shaking her head at us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 2 551

The Top

Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 525

You deserved it 2 657

Today, my coworker and I were waiting outside the bar to pick up my dad. When he got in the car, my VERY drunk dad, instead of greeting us, looked my coworker dead in the eye and asked, “Are you fucking my daughter?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 180

Today, my boyfriend asked me to text him when I got home after driving 40 miles in bad weather from his house back to mine. When I did, he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 030

You deserved it 1 537

Today, in a serious bid to lose weight, I’ve changed my lifestyle, including throwing away the 20-odd takeaway menus we keep in the kitchen. It’s only been two hours and we’ve already had five new menus from local takeaways delivered through the letterbox. Why, Universe, why do you wish me to stay fat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 341

Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk. I asked, "What about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 901

You deserved it 3 810

Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 711

You deserved it 2 423