Miscellaneous: Today, my obsession with replying "Your Mom" reached a new level... - FML

By Motha - 09/04/2014 05:17 - United States - West Jordan

Today, my obsession with replying "Your Mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I'd done with my pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 604

You deserved it 50 478

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 04:31 - United States - Havertown

Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 494

You deserved it 1 513

Sins of the Mother

By speedster - 24/06/2021 06:01 - United States

Today, I asked my science teacher if he'd had my mom when she went to my high school. He took one look at me, glared, and said, "Oh yeah, I remember HER." I have that class every day the rest of the year. Thanks a lot, Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 294

By NittanyMangini - 26/05/2016 16:37 - United States

Today, I was taking a biology final and was just randomly tapping my pencil. My teacher thought I was somehow communicating with the person next to me, and decided to fail me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 294

You deserved it 1 520

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 00:45 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 422

You deserved it 40 007

Huge balls

By Anonymous - 10/10/2021 19:04 - United States

Today, I had to pick up my son from school because he was constantly talking about his "Giant pen." In mid-July, I got him a giant-sized pen (writing utensil) and he liked it very much. Apparently, one of the teachers had their mind in the gutter and thought he was talking about… you know what. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 147

By sciencenat - 14/01/2016 06:36 - France - V?lizy-villacoublay

Today, as a natural science teacher, I was drawing a uterus on the class chalkboard. One of my students started messing around and being noisy, so I shouted, "Be quiet and check out my uterus!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 908

You deserved it 5 114

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, my mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and put ointment on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 132

You deserved it 4 928

Art critic

By Anonymous - 09/08/2009 00:02 - United States

Today, my mom went snooping through my art bin to "clean out my old drawings". She found numerous nude pieces and accused me of selling porn. My mom mistook and threw out 57 anatomy practice sketches that I worked very very hard on, and ripped up the remainder of my drawings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 092

You deserved it 3 543

By f_n_fail - 06/12/2016 21:31 - United States

Today, I got a note from my son's kindergarten teacher. During free time yesterday, he told her, "Mommy was stripping". I was indeed stripping. Paint that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 190

You deserved it 727

By idkmybffjill? - 13/02/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 572

You deserved it 49 048

Next

Top comments

Lebeaugars95 20

Wednesday 9 April 2014 15:31

guess who the teacher called after that comment

SpunkyyyMonkeyy 10

Wednesday 9 April 2014 15:14

All you had to do was go to class with a pencil. I am sure McDonalds is hiring though.

Comments

KatyLarae 13

Thursday 10 April 2014 4:42

Let's play the age game. Any guesses on OP's age?

beanthemouse 13

Thursday 10 April 2014 4:51

I don't like jokes that bring someones family member into them, what if they are dead? I know it is just a joke but people are really sensitive. I would be careful. We all say "your mom" every now and then, usually when we wanna be immature, but all the time? Now that IS childish. YDI sorry.

thisawkwardchick 15

Thursday 10 April 2014 5:38

Ha this made my day

Fas4wd 13

Thursday 10 April 2014 13:59

You deserved it. But still funny. I would've laughed and encouraged your behaviour. Lol.

Fuzy2K 7

Thursday 10 April 2014 15:26

"Get out, Lightman. Get out."

Rainbow_dumpster 28

Thursday 10 April 2014 18:21

MATURITY FAIL!

ohgodbutwhy 6

Thursday 10 April 2014 19:22

med school buddies yay

ultra_notorious 26

Friday 11 April 2014 4:39

I empathize, I say the same thing on a daily basis!

Vernita 3

Friday 11 April 2014 23:03

I do t at too

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 13 April 2014 5:32

How old are you? Twelve? The "your mom" jokes have officially died out. Time to grow up.

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 341

You deserved it 3 784

Today, yet again I had to lie to a date about what I do for a living, because every time I tell someone the truth, that I work in private equity, they have some choice words about "people like me ruining things" and "ruining the housing prices." I feel like an evil James Bond or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 504

The Top

Today, I tried to make homemade sushi for the first time. It ended up looking like a Jackson Pollock painting, and tasted like a shoe. My roommates politely declined when I offered them some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 284

Today, I found a used condom in my trash can. I have been happily married to my wife for 7 years, and we use other forms of birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 189

You deserved it 2 955

Today, my husband pre-ordered $500 worth of Transformers figures. We're supposed to be trying to save up for a house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 164

Today, the universe smiled upon me and my longtime fantasy of seeing someone I know appear in an adult film finally came true. However, as a straight guy, I should have been more specific: I was hoping to see a woman I know appear in an adult film. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 1 180

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 697

You deserved it 5 053

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 590

You deserved it 2 642