Miscellaneous: Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they...

By vsf - 02/08/2011 00:31 - United States

Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they reckon my IQ is so low, I could quite possibly choke on cotton candy and pass out confused by the hall of mirrors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 052

You deserved it 6 608

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Same thing different taste

Queasy

By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 18:00

Today, I tried being the 'cool parent' by taking my kids to a fancy, expensive amusement park, but ended up getting stuck on every ride and getting motion sickness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 338

By Anonymous - 01/09/2014 02:18 - United States - Bronx

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 946

You deserved it 3 250

Freakout

By SheaLili - 07/08/2011 17:14 - United States

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 491

You deserved it 3 421

Family time

By skinny - 01/11/2023 00:02

Today, my parents decided to go on a diet. This would be perfectly fine if they didn’t insist I go on one too. I weigh less than 90 pounds and am underweight for my height. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 52

By sickbaby - 11/06/2011 13:06 - Singapore

Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 398

You deserved it 3 238

Alexa, play "Schizophrenia" by Sonic Youth

By But is killing them really that bad? - 14/05/2023 03:00 - United States - Carson City

Today, my parents have gone from expecting nearly-impossible things to being convinced I can't do basic tasks. Apparently if you're not schizophrenic you can do things that are ridiculous, and if you're schizophrenic you can't do anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 141

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 05:00 - United States

Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 670

You deserved it 3 273

By crazymirrors - 28/07/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that we should go to the carnival in the Bizarre House place where there were a lot of crazy mirrors. I checked myself out in one of the mirrors. Then my boyfriend says "That will probably be the only time you will ever look that skinny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 932

You deserved it 6 291

By Anonymous - 04/07/2014 22:02 - United Kingdom - Sherborne

Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 576

You deserved it 7 540

Freaked out

By Cliffhanger - 10/05/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I went to an amusement park with my family and we all decided to ride the tallest rollercoaster. As soon as the ride got going, I realized I'd made a huge mistake and was too terrified to open my eyes. I spent the entire ride screaming, with my hands over my eyes, and afterwards my cousin called me a wuss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 725

mandywaffles 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 8:57

I thought cotton candy melted in your mouth...

Gamakichi 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 8:57

Well if you were able to post this, and use standard proper English; you'd probably, at the least, be allowed entry.

Comments

gofferurself 10

Thursday 4 August 2011 6:39

choke on cotton candy? Your family realizes that it would desolve??? Sorry, FYL

potondoor 0

Friday 5 August 2011 23:31

Funniest parents ever

Skroal_stomper 5

Saturday 6 August 2011 11:04

Bust out the windows in the car. When they ask why tell them your low IQ made you do it. Then ask for a corn-dog.

happyabby123 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 21:57

But u must be pretty smart in order to figure out how to vhoke on cotton candy. Don't u think???lol!

David199619 8

Sunday 23 October 2011 22:36

You're the one who says reckon, hick much?

hashnasnne 0

Tuesday 29 November 2011 14:30

Well, if you were able to post this, then your IQ is probably higher than your parents thought.

help_us_lisa 0

Saturday 5 May 2012 13:11

Well ya if you're using words like 'reckon' then you probably are that dumb.

lemonademixer 7

Tuesday 5 February 2013 7:53

You've got enough IQ to type this down

luckylucas26 9

Monday 25 November 2013 7:07

Well the last half of this makes no sense, I reckon low IQs run in your family...

PlasmaPorter 12

Thursday 20 March 2014 23:39

Well if you say 'reckon' a whole lot I don't see why your parents are getting hated on

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The Top

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 147

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 670

You deserved it 39 754

The Top

Today, I said something in class and someone mimicked me. In a self-pitying mood, I exclaimed, "Everybody hates me!" The girl behind me then said, "Pretty much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 527

You deserved it 47 925

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 241

You deserved it 246 178

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 684

You deserved it 4 555

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 618

You deserved it 3 918

Today, my uncle got drunk and started ranting about how great I was and how amazing it is that I almost wasn’t born because somehow I managed to survive the failed abortion my mom really wanted. News to me. Mom never wanted me and tried to abort me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 79

Today, my boyfriend promised me he wouldn't leave me alone in Niagara. I'm currently sitting alone in the hotel room drinking a bottle of wine while he gambles away money he doesn't have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 500

You deserved it 3 704