Miscellaneous: Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they...

By vsf - 02/08/2011 00:31 - United States

Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they reckon my IQ is so low, I could quite possibly choke on cotton candy and pass out confused by the hall of mirrors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 052

You deserved it 6 608

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Same thing different taste

Queasy

By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 18:00

Today, I tried being the 'cool parent' by taking my kids to a fancy, expensive amusement park, but ended up getting stuck on every ride and getting motion sickness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 338

By Anonymous - 01/09/2014 02:18 - United States - Bronx

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 946

You deserved it 3 250

Freakout

By SheaLili - 07/08/2011 17:14 - United States

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 491

You deserved it 3 421

Family time

By skinny - 01/11/2023 00:02

Today, my parents decided to go on a diet. This would be perfectly fine if they didn’t insist I go on one too. I weigh less than 90 pounds and am underweight for my height. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 52

By sickbaby - 11/06/2011 13:06 - Singapore

Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 398

You deserved it 3 238

Alexa, play "Schizophrenia" by Sonic Youth

By But is killing them really that bad? - 14/05/2023 03:00 - United States - Carson City

Today, my parents have gone from expecting nearly-impossible things to being convinced I can't do basic tasks. Apparently if you're not schizophrenic you can do things that are ridiculous, and if you're schizophrenic you can't do anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 141

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 05:00 - United States

Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 670

You deserved it 3 273

By crazymirrors - 28/07/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that we should go to the carnival in the Bizarre House place where there were a lot of crazy mirrors. I checked myself out in one of the mirrors. Then my boyfriend says "That will probably be the only time you will ever look that skinny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 932

You deserved it 6 291

By Anonymous - 04/07/2014 22:02 - United Kingdom - Sherborne

Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 576

You deserved it 7 540

Freaked out

By Cliffhanger - 10/05/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I went to an amusement park with my family and we all decided to ride the tallest rollercoaster. As soon as the ride got going, I realized I'd made a huge mistake and was too terrified to open my eyes. I spent the entire ride screaming, with my hands over my eyes, and afterwards my cousin called me a wuss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 725

mandywaffles 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 8:57

I thought cotton candy melted in your mouth...

Gamakichi 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 8:57

Well if you were able to post this, and use standard proper English; you'd probably, at the least, be allowed entry.

Comments

raaawwwrrZ 8

Tuesday 2 August 2011 17:22

That happened to me once i slammed in the mirror trying to pull me out of the glass prison

outspokenDancer 6

Tuesday 2 August 2011 17:53

can I have your parents?!?! :D

maryjayy3 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 18:16

I'll be honest my parents tell me the same thing except they are afraid I'll choke on gum, fall of the escalators, and get lost in a mall.

Salkadi 9

Tuesday 2 August 2011 18:40

they reckon? seriously?

GabbyCharityM 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 18:56

YDI. Why? Hmm.. I reckon.

skylerXx 6

Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:27

I reckon stupidity runs in the family. No worries bub.

SamanthaRose143 6

Tuesday 2 August 2011 19:48

I've choked on cotton candy before!

dangerberry27 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 22:44

dang, I can't imagine what a whole day w/ them would be like.. :(

bgiles626 2

Tuesday 2 August 2011 22:52

Well.. You did use the word "reckon" in your post..

OhWowThatSucks4U 2

Wednesday 3 August 2011 2:40

Thats a Bullshit reason... cotton candy practically dissolves on anything it touches! sucks for you.

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The Top

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 171

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 580

You deserved it 5 576

The Top

Today, my nephews decided to play with and break the antique hourglass I bought for my mom. It took months to find and cost nearly $500. When I told my sister, she refused to repay me and responded with, "What do you expect, they’re just little boys!" Her "little boys" are 12 and 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 560

You deserved it 194

Today, I found out my grandmother has severe road rage after she complained about Pennsylvania drivers for over an hour, then decided to rear end one because he wouldn't get out of her way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 992

You deserved it 2 739

Today, I realized ruined I'd my life forever when i broke up with the girl of my dreams by being stupid 11 years ago and I'm still missing her. I haven't been able to move on ever since, and she is now married and has a kid. Don't ever take anyone for granted, I know I deserve this but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 1 124

Today, I accidentally fell asleep at work after working a 12-hour shift. Instead of waking me up, my coworkers spiked my coffee mug with whiskey and told my boss I was drunk. My boss wouldn't even listen to my side of the story and fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 709

You deserved it 2 991

Today, my husband woke up with the first boner he’s had in almost 6 years. He yelled for me to join him so we could have sex again like the old days, but by the time I was finished on the toilet and raced to get to him with my pants still round my ankles, he'd gone soft. We’re only in our 30s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 171

Today, I tried impressing my colleagues by using fancy business jargon during a meeting. I ended up saying, "Let's synergize our ideation to maximize the bandwidth of our paradigm shift." Nobody had a clue what I meant, and me neither to be honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 1 281