Animals: Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it....

By SydIsPrettyCool - 04/08/2011 05:44 - United States

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 152

You deserved it 3 396

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Same thing different taste

By Brinty - 24/10/2009 04:26 - Australia

Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 469

You deserved it 3 566

By PoachedFish - 29/12/2009 10:57 - Lebanon

Today, was very chilly. My little sister felt sorry for my two goldfish swimming in the cold water. She decided to put them in hot water. They died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 332

You deserved it 3 056

By Anonymous - 31/12/2011 08:44 - United States

Today, my favorite fish died. To make things better my parents thought to take me out to dinner. We ate sushi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 583

You deserved it 6 645

By Todd - 14/08/2012 16:14 - United States

Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 814

You deserved it 1 976

By FlipYoC - 16/09/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 738

You deserved it 60 943

By dukebluedevils13 - 05/08/2011 01:47 - United States

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 264

You deserved it 8 146

Murdered

By Anonymous - 16/02/2021 20:01

Today, I woke up and checked my fish tank. I thought the temperature was too low, so half asleep, I turned it up. Now all my fish are dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 1 030

By sunil - 13/06/2014 22:53 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 616

You deserved it 9 923

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 23:05 - United States

Today, I came home to a dead fish duct-taped to the wall of my dorm room. I can't reach it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 139

You deserved it 3 957

By fish killer - 25/03/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 764

You deserved it 10 128

Susieee_Q 9

Thursday 4 August 2011 12:07

All I can think about now is that poor fish's life during his last seconds being in that boiling grave. Oh, lordy....

LukeyDukey 8

Thursday 4 August 2011 12:04

Maybe he was hungry?

Comments

juliaannw 11

Thursday 4 August 2011 12:10

science experiments are great when drunk...

juliaannw 11

Thursday 4 August 2011 12:10

science experiments are great when drunk...

juliaannw 11

Thursday 4 August 2011 12:10

science experiments are great when drunk...

juliaannw 11

Thursday 4 August 2011 12:10

science experiments are great when drunk...

FernAdele 9

Thursday 4 August 2011 12:10

what are you, a gay fish or something ?

Asystole 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 12:11

Your dad said "hey forget mrs Pauls"

coolkid_matt 11

Thursday 4 August 2011 12:15

Wow.. He must've been quite the drunk..

ADayToPierceTheV 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 12:23

Microwave his beer

StopDropNRoll 11

Thursday 4 August 2011 12:59

Aww come on you can not have the heart to ruin good beer!

talensledge1 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 12:23

Sometimes I sit in the corner and act like a banana.

selbow 3

Thursday 4 August 2011 12:38

And how exactly does one act like a banana? Did you turn yellow at least?

corbendo 3

Thursday 4 August 2011 12:46

Nice try stealing someone else's comment..

Skorne 5

Friday 5 August 2011 2:02

Do you act fruity?

boomboy27 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 12:28

He had the munchies.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Animals Dogs Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

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Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 189

You deserved it 11 246

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 979

You deserved it 9 781

The Top

Today, I went to the doctor's office after getting a positive pregnancy test. She did another one to confirm the result, which came back negative. My husband is wandering around with a great big smile on his face, because he isn't going to "have a rugrat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 032

You deserved it 418

Today, my extremely inebriated boyfriend casually mentioned that he wished I had a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 717

You deserved it 853

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with some kinky role play. I chose a sexy naughty nun's outfit, complete with head cover, thigh-high stockings and crotchless panties. I guess my outfit was a little too convincing, because he couldn’t get it up. Thanks Catholic guilt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 151

You deserved it 887

Today, I accidentally overheard my thesis supervisor mutter, "fucking idiot" coming out of a Zoom meeting with him. It was only me and him in the Zoom meeting, and he said it 4 seconds after saying goodbye. I just quit Zoom without saying anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 172

Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 048

You deserved it 3 500

Today, I tried the 'drop the towel' challenge in front of my wife so I could record her reaction for TikTok, and maybe get some weekend booty. She barely even reacted, gave me the 'go away I’m busy' arm wave, and when I didn’t leave fast enough, she actually whipped my knob with her charging cable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 1 957

Same thing different taste

Murdered

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