Money: Today, my portfolio manager called me and said he had invested...

By Noname - 13/01/2009 10:06 - United States

Today, my portfolio manager called me and said he had invested all of my retirement in Circuit City. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 759

You deserved it 3 108

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Same thing different taste

By extants - 11/02/2010 20:13 - United States

Today, I found out my broker invested my $6000 in the wrong stock. How did I find out? He called me to let me know the stock crashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 371

You deserved it 3 649

Pump and dump

By Anonymous - 07/05/2017 20:00

Today, I learned that my dad invested my entire college fund into some shady internet stock, despite my dire warnings about being careful. He told me not to worry as he'd done some research, and he guaranteed everything would be fine. Two hours later that same stock dropped almost 75%. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 059

You deserved it 430

By JONNO - 27/04/2019 14:00

Today, I got fired from my position as a financial investor for giving a client the exact investment he asked for, even though the investment was out of my mandate, and I had gone to my direct manager to authorize the investment. My manager was promoted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 338

You deserved it 181

Mixed feeling

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 12:00

Today, my boss told me that I was getting a promotion. I was so excited to tell my family and friends the good news, but when I got home and checked my bank account, I realized that I had accidentally transferred all of my savings to my ex's account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 1 081

Ouch.

By Jen1444 - 26/02/2018 13:00 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I gave a financial presentation to my entire firm. After it was over, somebody accidentally copied me on a group text that said, "Her zipper was open the whole time. If we're so successful, why is our CFO wearing a urine-stained store-brand K-Mart panties?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 753

You deserved it 995

Management 101

By Anonymous - 22/07/2021 04:01 - South Africa

Today, I got a call from the bank, telling me my mom's company is going broke. She's been on holiday for a month, and I had been appointed to manage it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 197

End of the road

By Anonymous - 02/04/2021 21:30

Today, I landed my dream job with an international company. I figured I could work this until retirement, only to find out they hired me to shut down operations in my market. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 99

By Marco - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, the bank I use lost 5 billion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 202

You deserved it 12 104

By Perdedor - 07/01/2009 21:54 - United States

Today, my boss called me in to tell me I had got a raise. I bought a $1500 Chanel bag. Two hours later he called me in to tell me he was kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 909

You deserved it 45 000

By Dave - 07/02/2017 06:00 - United States

Today, a vendor contacted me to let me know that our contract renewal went through. Turns out, I misread our original contract and now I've obligated our company to buy $24k of services, when my boss wanted to cancel it. It's only February and I already know I'm not getting a bonus this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 037

You deserved it 2 595

sanjuro_fml 0

Thursday 19 February 2009 8:11

I hear Bernie Madoff is looking for new clients.

wotchersarah 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 1:22

#9, that's the point. and what kind of idiot puts ALL of someones retirement money in ONE company?

Comments

anjali123 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 2:16

Don't get A shitty portfolio manager.

ban4023 0

Monday 21 September 2009 22:21

lol

the_unlucky 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 17:29

Today, i'm STILL trying to find a job after i lost my job when circuit city closed fml.

martic835 2

Saturday 16 January 2010 9:48

LMFAO!!! Circuit City FTW!!!!

missy1228 2

Saturday 10 April 2010 6:08

#1 was that racsist

bomzo 22

Thursday 27 March 2014 7:28

stfu ******

camifornilla 2

Saturday 14 August 2010 7:22

maybe that's what made circuit city close.

josephbegley 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 3:24

they went out in like 07

talksarahh 0

Monday 21 March 2011 3:41

so how'd that work out?

Leo_C_fml 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 19:58

What's Circuit City?

Onlynamethatwasn 0

Thursday 23 June 2011 5:58

circuit city his butt

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, yet again I had to lie to a date about what I do for a living, because every time I tell someone the truth, that I work in private equity, they have some choice words about "people like me ruining things" and "ruining the housing prices." I feel like an evil James Bond or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 538

Today, I found one of those realistic, expensive sex dolls in my boyfriend's cupboard. I asked why on earth he had that and apparently it’s for all those filthy, violent sexual things he likes to do, but knows most women would never even agree to try. Um, WHAT? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 529

The Top

Today, for the third time this week, my boss made me switch desks. Each new desk is closer to the door than the last one. I think he's trying to tell me something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 853

You deserved it 2 765

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 917

You deserved it 9 807

Today, my father went out to get batteries for the remote control helicopter I bought him for Christmas. In his excitement, he backed his truck into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 118

You deserved it 2 923

Today, I got a bug bite on my boob. I scratched it so much it started bleeding so I put a bandaid on it. Turns out the band-aid had latex in it and I got an allergic reaction to it. The bug bite is still bleeding and the top half of my boob is swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 865

You deserved it 1 321

Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 970

You deserved it 4 811

Today, my husband and I were getting busy on the living room couch when my mother-in-law stopped by and let herself in with a key we didn’t know she had. She then demanded an apology like it was all our fault and stormed out. I still don’t know why she came by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 894

You deserved it 395