Money: Today, my portfolio manager called me and said he had invested... - FML

By Noname - 13/01/2009 10:06 - United States

Today, my portfolio manager called me and said he had invested all of my retirement in Circuit City. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 759

You deserved it 3 108

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Same thing different taste

By extants - 11/02/2010 20:13 - United States

Today, I found out my broker invested my $6000 in the wrong stock. How did I find out? He called me to let me know the stock crashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 371

You deserved it 3 649

Pump and dump

By Anonymous - 07/05/2017 20:00

Today, I learned that my dad invested my entire college fund into some shady internet stock, despite my dire warnings about being careful. He told me not to worry as he'd done some research, and he guaranteed everything would be fine. Two hours later that same stock dropped almost 75%. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 059

You deserved it 430

By JONNO - 27/04/2019 14:00

Today, I got fired from my position as a financial investor for giving a client the exact investment he asked for, even though the investment was out of my mandate, and I had gone to my direct manager to authorize the investment. My manager was promoted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 338

You deserved it 181

Mixed feeling

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 12:00

Today, my boss told me that I was getting a promotion. I was so excited to tell my family and friends the good news, but when I got home and checked my bank account, I realized that I had accidentally transferred all of my savings to my ex's account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 1 081

Ouch.

By Jen1444 - 26/02/2018 13:00 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I gave a financial presentation to my entire firm. After it was over, somebody accidentally copied me on a group text that said, "Her zipper was open the whole time. If we're so successful, why is our CFO wearing a urine-stained store-brand K-Mart panties?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 753

You deserved it 995

Management 101

By Anonymous - 22/07/2021 04:01 - South Africa

Today, I got a call from the bank, telling me my mom's company is going broke. She's been on holiday for a month, and I had been appointed to manage it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 197

End of the road

By Anonymous - 02/04/2021 21:30

Today, I landed my dream job with an international company. I figured I could work this until retirement, only to find out they hired me to shut down operations in my market. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 99

By Marco - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, the bank I use lost 5 billion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 202

You deserved it 12 104

By Perdedor - 07/01/2009 21:54 - United States

Today, my boss called me in to tell me I had got a raise. I bought a $1500 Chanel bag. Two hours later he called me in to tell me he was kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 909

You deserved it 45 000

By Dave - 07/02/2017 06:00 - United States

Today, a vendor contacted me to let me know that our contract renewal went through. Turns out, I misread our original contract and now I've obligated our company to buy $24k of services, when my boss wanted to cancel it. It's only February and I already know I'm not getting a bonus this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 037

You deserved it 2 595

Next

Top comments

sanjuro_fml 0

Thursday 19 February 2009 8:11

I hear Bernie Madoff is looking for new clients.

wotchersarah 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 1:22

#9, that's the point. and what kind of idiot puts ALL of someones retirement money in ONE company?

Comments

little_musician 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 0:11

You seriously need to sue him.

randomhappyguy 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 0:56

no portfolio manager would ever put all of your retirement money into 1 stock... its just stupid.

24788 6

Wednesday 29 April 2009 8:41

ONE COMPANY?! All I have to say.

wrestler17 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 5:08

wow what a ******* idiot... I could always tell circuit city was going to bomb, common sense, of all the places I'm sorry, may god help you It sounds like he wanted to be special and be rght about something absurd and used you to do it

TotallyAwesome 0

Friday 15 May 2009 21:37

LOL, that sucks.

love15_fml 8

Sunday 17 May 2009 19:56

Sue

drake_p 0

Friday 17 July 2009 6:56

I don't know what you guys are talking about. guy's a GENIUS. and by genius I mean genuinely stupid idget. no offense. :P

thatoneguy22 0

Friday 17 July 2009 17:06

I don't know if anybody has posted this already, but I'm reading this quite a while after it happened and circuit city tanked, just thought it would be funny to remind you that our retirement fund went into the rebuilding of the best buy wannabes

Britton 4

Saturday 1 August 2009 3:00

#11 is hilarious.

Andyangels27 0

Monday 24 August 2009 10:58

and it's gone!!!!!

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The Top

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 199

You deserved it 17 042

Today, my jobless husband wants to buy the latest iPhone. His current phone is in good condition, except that he has a 1000 apps on it slowing it down. We're also in deeply crushing debt from all his bad financial decisions from his severely loss-making business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 182

The Top

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 220

You deserved it 3 282

Today, I thought my boyfriend was kidding when he said he'd dump me if I actually ate pineapple on pizza. I ordered it. I ate it. I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 207

You deserved it 1 195

Today, I saw that my biological father took his two favorite daughters on a luxury cruise to celebrate his birthday. I didn't find out until the pictures were posted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 680

You deserved it 266

Today, I dropped my car keys down the elevator shaft at my dorm. I had parked my car at a parking meter, and now had no way to get change out of my car. It took six hours for someone to get my keys, and I now have a $75 parking ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 455

You deserved it 4 905

Today, my husband filed for divorce. He also put himself “In a relationship” with my daughter on Facebook. She turned 18 a few days ago. He says it’s no big deal because, “at least I waited until she was legal.” The spineless idiot just doesn’t get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 087

You deserved it 160

Today, I discovered my girlfriend stealing from my bank account. She thought she was smart by disguising her transfers as 'GAS BILL' or 'NETFLIX BILL'. Um, Netflix doesn’t cost £100 a month, and BILL is spelt with two Ls, not three. Reported for fraud; got my money back; single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 101