Miscellaneous: Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our...

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 03:48 - United States

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 360

You deserved it 3 059

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Same thing different taste

Creepy

By Username - 03/10/2011 17:58 - United States

Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 510

You deserved it 3 368

Lurker

By Katie - 20/02/2011 08:35 - Reserved

Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 068

You deserved it 3 101

Psssssych!

By Welcome to Florida - 20/07/2017 13:01

Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 340

You deserved it 539

By Anonymous - 28/03/2011 18:52 - Macedonia

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 791

You deserved it 6 879

Snek

By afraidtosleep - 13/10/2012 06:35 - United States - Houston

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 978

You deserved it 6 327

Not on a plane

By Surewhatever - 16/10/2019 14:01

Today, when I warned my guests to check the toilet for snakes, I meant it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 463

You deserved it 145

By olive_costume - 05/12/2009 01:16 - Australia

Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 720

You deserved it 8 064

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 02:43 - United States - Boston

Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 060

You deserved it 3 781

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 01:34 - United States - West Chester

Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 425

You deserved it 4 370

By seriousdubsteplover - 30/10/2009 05:08 - Australia

Today, when going to fill up the kettle, I noticed a bad smell and pieces of something coming out of the tap. Turns out there was a dead snake in my water supply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 677

You deserved it 2 173

HerpYourDerp 7

Friday 28 October 2011 12:05

What do you mean, "again"? How many times has that snake been missing in your apartment?

Buttsexpirate 9

Friday 28 October 2011 12:08

While in the bathroom you're gonna hear "Feed me ssssseymour!"

Comments

Chazyj 4

Friday 28 October 2011 16:39

She could be trolling you and the snake is some where else just saying

LilMissNYC 5

Friday 28 October 2011 18:37

You should be fine, just don't use a pad lol good luck hun

MyLifeIsAverageS 5

Friday 28 October 2011 18:39

You people are all dipshits. The blood the snake is attracted to is freshly oxygenated blood. Menstrual blood isn't freshly oxygenated

BoredomCentral 8

Saturday 29 October 2011 1:06

And again. Snakes are NOT attracted to blood.

nysouby 6

Friday 28 October 2011 19:00

Now that the snake lives in your apartment, you should go live in the forest. LOL

Squinchy 1

Friday 28 October 2011 19:35

Haha... Gross

Cheerieful_fml 2

Friday 28 October 2011 19:54

Do you wanna see my one-eyed snake?

BellaMarta 19

Friday 28 October 2011 20:01

Look closely at your trash cans then.

RuskiManBearPig 4

Friday 28 October 2011 20:16

Dude this reminded me of "Pitch Black"

onikage_666 0

Friday 28 October 2011 20:41

Im sure somebody thinks thats pretty hot...

tinkybonk 10

Friday 28 October 2011 20:41

You're putting the whole station in jeopardy!

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 111

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I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 15

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 64 373

You deserved it 10 388

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 837

You deserved it 7 338

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I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 2 166

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I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 94

Today, I excitedly went to check this week's paycheck, only to see that I only received $9.00. This isn't a mistake, this is really what I make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 167

Today, my mum came over and helped me sort out my spare room. It was great, we found so many things I'd forgotten I had! Including anal beads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 638

You deserved it 1 008