Intimacy: Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he...

By James - 12/08/2011 07:54 - United States

Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 634

You deserved it 3 128

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymousse - 13/11/2015 12:34 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 780

You deserved it 1 559

Twisted

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 772

You deserved it 4 725

By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 312

You deserved it 840

Forgiveness

By notacaveman - 16/04/2013 13:27 - Netherlands

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 323

You deserved it 13 472

It's not the size that counts

By Leo Scofield - 29/08/2020 02:00

Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 040

You deserved it 150

By itsemilyc - 02/02/2015 19:34 - United States - Byron Center

Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 860

You deserved it 4 309

By leftwardfoil - 19/08/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 557

You deserved it 3 378

Back and forth and back again

By Anonymous - 07/01/2015 19:37 - Guam - Barrigada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 054

You deserved it 3 934

By keimA - 23/06/2019 12:30

Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 305

You deserved it 396

Wait, what?

By Sally - 24/07/2009 09:04 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 379

You deserved it 4 776

spd2fst4u 5

Friday 12 August 2011 18:52

I think I'd have him arrested.

Zero22120 12

Friday 12 August 2011 18:52

How do you not wake up to that?

Comments

klong91 7

Friday 12 August 2011 22:25

Can you say potential rapist? I would throw him out if I were you.

phiend99 4

Friday 12 August 2011 22:33

That's called Felony Assault in legal terms. Lots of serial rapists have been known to have incidents similar to this in their history. They went on to more invasive acts because they were easily able to get away with this. You'll be doing him a big favor if you report him.

sheethapins 13

Saturday 13 August 2011 3:03

Not to mention a favor to potential victims.

lovebeam 0

Friday 12 August 2011 22:43

That's pretty ****** up. Switch rooms or keep your gf far away from that creeper

rattusrattus 18

Friday 12 August 2011 22:47

Suggestion: kick out your roommate (provide him with a large cardboard box like the ones fridges come in) and move your girlfriend in. If your girlfriend lives with you, move in a non-perverted friend. Maybe the one who is a eunuch?