Miscellaneous: Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get...

By GonnaLockUpMySpices - 30/10/2015 01:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 947

You deserved it 1 833

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Same thing different taste

By KindaLooksLikeCocaine - 23/09/2015 23:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 736

You deserved it 1 751

By funnymanjoe - 14/09/2011 11:06 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 761

You deserved it 5 738

Confused

By Nathanael Johnson - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my roommate came home from work and yelled at me for my dinner being too spicy. The same dinner he denied stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 476

You deserved it 213

By holyshart - 05/06/2012 09:03 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 540

You deserved it 2 567

Good tasting

By Anonymous - 15/12/2019 03:00 - Canada - Saint-hubert

Today, my roommate left those powdered donuts in the kitchen. Hungry, I decided to try one. Turns out, the white powder wasn't sugar. It was cocaine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 060

You deserved it 823

By wreckdit - 12/10/2016 23:55 - United States

Today, I discovered that my roommate is a drug dealer and has been keeping her product in our flat. I discovered this when several police officers broke down my bathroom door and arrested me while I was in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 803

You deserved it 726

By mario - 02/03/2019 19:00 - United States - Corvallis

Today, my roommate ran out of filter tips so he cut up my chemistry note cards for his joints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 317

You deserved it 202

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 03:48 - United States

Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 188

You deserved it 5 528

By Annomymous - 23/01/2015 18:12 - United States - Clarkston

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 888

You deserved it 4 894

By Anonymous - 25/01/2017 04:00

Today, my roommates gathered together to tell me that they all took turns spitting in my drinks in the fridge, all because I told on them for smoking pot in the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 266

You deserved it 3 370

gunzerker 8

Friday 30 October 2015 12:09

your spice cabinet is locked?

zombiekiller52 24

Friday 30 October 2015 12:09

Was he high when he did this?

Comments

tomvertigo 17

Friday 30 October 2015 14:44

Guys forget doing marijuanas - now we can inject nutmegs. Maybe I'll try snorting paprika this weekend...

NevermoreRoses 20

Friday 30 October 2015 14:55

I have so many questions.

hardcorefan16 22

Friday 30 October 2015 15:23

You can get high off of nutmeg? Wow

BuckNekkid 22

Friday 30 October 2015 15:42

that's a thing?

ohSNAPyall 26

Friday 30 October 2015 17:06

I'm guessing rookie heard about "spice" (the synthetic drug) and did no further research.

ashleighmay18 21

Friday 30 October 2015 15:46

That's stupid as hell! where do people even think of these things...

worldclassrager 39

Friday 30 October 2015 15:54

Replace your nutmeg with pepper...if he brakes into your cabinet again which seems plausible

BiGTiMeNeRD 29

Friday 30 October 2015 16:13

Should've gone for the oregano. The placebo effect might work better.

breezy1134 4

Friday 30 October 2015 16:36

Why'd he have to break into it?

jeremeyraye 12

Friday 30 October 2015 17:48

um.....

quarterbird 18

Friday 30 October 2015 19:47

Who the **** has a locked spice cabinet???

Britt125 16

Friday 30 October 2015 21:19

People who have shitty roommates, obviously.

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I agree, your life sucks 27 299

You deserved it 14 749

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I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 124

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I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 260

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I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 232

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I agree, your life sucks 33 550

You deserved it 2 547

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I agree, your life sucks 22 188

You deserved it 2 508

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 938

You deserved it 41 673

Today, I pressed snooze on my alarm clock for one of the first times ever. I ended up being late to my 8am class, and when I showed up, I couldn't start the projector. I called Tech Support. They came... and pushed the large button labeled "power." The whole class laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 207

You deserved it 33 261

Same thing different taste

Confused

Good tasting

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