Miscellaneous: Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get... - FML

By GonnaLockUpMySpices - 30/10/2015 01:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 947

You deserved it 1 833

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Same thing different taste

By KindaLooksLikeCocaine - 23/09/2015 23:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 736

You deserved it 1 751

By funnymanjoe - 14/09/2011 11:06 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 761

You deserved it 5 738

Confused

By Nathanael Johnson - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my roommate came home from work and yelled at me for my dinner being too spicy. The same dinner he denied stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 476

You deserved it 213

By holyshart - 05/06/2012 09:03 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 540

You deserved it 2 567

Good tasting

By Anonymous - 15/12/2019 03:00 - Canada - Saint-hubert

Today, my roommate left those powdered donuts in the kitchen. Hungry, I decided to try one. Turns out, the white powder wasn't sugar. It was cocaine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 060

You deserved it 823

By wreckdit - 12/10/2016 23:55 - United States

Today, I discovered that my roommate is a drug dealer and has been keeping her product in our flat. I discovered this when several police officers broke down my bathroom door and arrested me while I was in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 803

You deserved it 726

By mario - 02/03/2019 19:00 - United States - Corvallis

Today, my roommate ran out of filter tips so he cut up my chemistry note cards for his joints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 317

You deserved it 202

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 03:48 - United States

Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 188

You deserved it 5 528

By Annomymous - 23/01/2015 18:12 - United States - Clarkston

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 888

You deserved it 4 894

By Anonymous - 25/01/2017 04:00

Today, my roommates gathered together to tell me that they all took turns spitting in my drinks in the fridge, all because I told on them for smoking pot in the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 266

You deserved it 3 370

Next

Top comments

gunzerker 8

Friday 30 October 2015 12:09

your spice cabinet is locked?

zombiekiller52 24

Friday 30 October 2015 12:09

Was he high when he did this?

Comments

Handsome_Jack2 10

Friday 30 October 2015 20:36

The spice must flow!

Birdclawz 17

Friday 30 October 2015 21:16

Nutmeg will **** you up really hard in the exchange for destroying your body.

watermelon_bae 15

Friday 30 October 2015 21:33

Buy a lock, or two.

DEATHLORD_fml 16

Friday 30 October 2015 22:49

You sure it's nutmeg?

suppppppppppppp 6

Friday 30 October 2015 23:46

He'sgoing to regret it.

bnbhimp 10

Saturday 31 October 2015 1:15

Herbalife is for resl

darkmatternat 1

Saturday 31 October 2015 1:43

That really works? The things people do make me lose faith in humanity.

PimpNasty0327 2

Saturday 31 October 2015 3:03

PLEASE PLEASE explain to me why the hell he had to "BREAK IN" to your spice cabinet? Do you have like a $750 jar of oregano? Or did you go into the ocean and harvest your own sea salt? None of this makes sense ?? good try though

blostrich_ 19

Saturday 31 October 2015 4:20

That is so ridiculous that people would go to those extents just to get high. -_-

Dominus101 20

Saturday 31 October 2015 4:45

Desperate Times call for Desperate Measures for your Junkie roommate FYL OP

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 51 332

You deserved it 4 254

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I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 94

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 47 879

You deserved it 2 863

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I agree, your life sucks 12 009

You deserved it 3 650

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I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 277

Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 680

You deserved it 1 979

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 975

You deserved it 19 174

Today, my boyfriend starting going off on me, calling me a psycho, all because I opened our bedroom door while he was in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 125