Love: Today, my roommate brought a kitten to the apartment. I hate...

By Anonymous - 25/02/2010 00:29 - United States

Today, my roommate brought a kitten to the apartment. I hate cats, and probably sensing this, the thing clawed me right in the crotch. I of course am not going to say a thing because I happen to be in love with my roommate, but she has no clue how much I hate this thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 985

You deserved it 28 084

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Same thing different taste

Roommate from Hell

By fishyrael - 08/08/2024 14:00 - United States - East Lansing

Today, my extremely affectionate and docile cat, whom I love like a child and has never drawn blood, scratched my roommate of one day in the face while I was at work. She claims he just went ballistic, and I don't believe she's telling me everything. What the hell did she do to my cat? It's gonna be a long lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 126

By crazy cat lady - 03/11/2016 19:31 - Canada - Fredericton

Today, I got a cat so I'd have some company, since my roommate is always with her boyfriend. Too bad the cat likes her more. So now I get to sit and listen to her talk to her boyfriend to get to cuddle with my kitty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 527

You deserved it 874

Getting no pussy love

By Anonymous - 03/08/2020 05:02

Today, since getting the new kitten that only I wanted, it has scratched me and peed on my socks, my side of the bed and my laptop. It loves my husband though, who was against getting a cat at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 301

You deserved it 428

Summer lovin'

By I wish I was making this up - 15/07/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I found out my cat and my roommate's dog are apparently lesbians who are into what is basically bestiality to us humans. Despite both being female (and fixed), his dog tried to hump my cat, and my cat didn't resist at all. Trying to get his dog off my cat took way more effort than it should have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 112

Cats rule, boys drool

By achoooo - 07/11/2009 05:34 - United States

Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 444

You deserved it 3 015

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 20:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 587

You deserved it 6 496

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 14:01

Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 329

Summer vibes

By milksquad - 17/07/2017 14:11

Today, my roommates adopted two kittens without consulting me. We're not allowed to have pets in our apartment and I'm severely allergic to cats. Oh well, it's not like I needed to be able to breathe this summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 306

You deserved it 345

By crazy cat lady - 03/12/2014 23:24 - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, I learned I'm allergic to the 5-month-old kitten we got 3 days ago. It loves me, follows me everywhere and sleeps on my lap in the evenings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 347

You deserved it 3 676

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 22:36 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 264

You deserved it 7 318

Seddah 3

Thursday 25 February 2010 9:43

You need to grow some balls, mate.

ActionManly 11

Thursday 25 February 2010 9:44

Pussywhipped!

Comments

MaryLee_fml 2

Thursday 25 February 2010 14:32

yaak>< how can one hate kits?! unbeliveable

murch 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 14:42

i hate cats. simple. you ask that and my whole family hates them. plus a lot of people are allergic. that's how you can hate cats.

sublimaze 6

Thursday 25 February 2010 15:03

you may love your cat, but your cat doesn't feel the same way about you. cats merely tolerate humans b/c we're a reliable source for food, and living in an air conditioned house with plush furnishings is much easier than living outside

a_peyton 3

Thursday 25 February 2010 14:45

Suck it up, big boy.

johnnydeath 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 15:19

Make friends with the cat. if you keep telling yourself that you hate it, you'll just keep hating it. Animals are rad :)

killabee 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 15:29

This sounds like a really terrible movie plot. I hate the cat, but I love her, and we've been bff since kindergarten, and I always give her advice about other men and she always dates jerks... BALLS MAN! You need BALLS!

corme_fml 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 15:40

Lies are what hold a relationship together. :P

Sipos 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 15:56

FYL. Not about the cat thing. If you don't like it, you should say. About the unrequited love thing. Being a complete push over isn't really attractive. You should say, gently, that you are not a fan of cats and that, while you love that she likes it, you're having a hard time living with it so, maybe she could keep it out of communal areas when you're around.