Successful breakups and Love: Today, my shitburglar of an ex asked me to take him back. He...

By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 19:31 - United States - Cloquet

Today, my shitburglar of an ex asked me to take him back. He said dumping me was a huge mistake. He dumped me because I was bed-ridden for several weeks and was in no condition to have sex. If his social media is anything to go by, he only wants me back because he couldn't get laid elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 568

You deserved it 1 580

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Same thing different taste

By SariLone - 19/05/2013 18:02 - India - Mumbai

Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 994

You deserved it 8 679

Desperate

By Anonymous - 24/06/2023 18:00

Today, the guy I gave up all my social life and casual sex partner for, suddenly decided that he wants nothing to do with me sexually, and then called me "desperate" for wanting to be his friend despite that fact. Now, because of him, I'm no longer getting laid, and I have no friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 1 512

By life_isnt_fair - 09/03/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me and dumped me. Thirty minutes later he called asking for me back. When I asked why, he said "The other girl dumped me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 638

You deserved it 4 569

By noname - 18/02/2013 01:28 - United States - Middletown

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 191

You deserved it 3 050

By Laloose - 26/12/2008 07:53 - France

Today, I send a text message to my ex-boyfriend, who dumped me four months ago, telling him to come back. His answer: "feeling-wise I won't come back to you, but sexually, why not". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 020

You deserved it 28 308

Sniffer dog

By Anonymous - 08/08/2022 18:00

Today, after a guy I really liked and we decided to have sex, and he gagged and told me I stank when he got 'down there', I broke up with him, badly, but it's now a week later and I’m in hospital with a severe infection down there. He was right, and now he won’t take me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 2 067

By pchemist - 22/02/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 486

You deserved it 6 998

By Bigfatfailure - 28/03/2013 10:02 - United States - Garden Grove

Today, I got dumped during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 516

You deserved it 9 856

By stupidboys - 06/09/2011 16:42 - United States

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend after helping him study for his ACT, giving him a back rub, and having really awesome sex with him. His reason for dumping me? He's too stressed out to have a girlfriend right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 780

You deserved it 4 632

By booboo300 - 29/04/2019 00:00

Today, I was supposed to have sex with my ex after he’d been out of town for a week. After a lot of build up and sexting last night, I woke up sick and he hurt his leg. It’s like our bodies are telling us not to sleep together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 2 420

bunnyfish 27

Saturday 23 January 2016 8:27

I pictured the hamburglers evil twin shitburgler when I read that.

bigbrown24 17

Saturday 23 January 2016 8:27

what a douche bag. you don't need him

Comments

Jayms_fml 32

Saturday 23 January 2016 10:25

What a swine!

rtigers15 8

Saturday 23 January 2016 11:02

don't worry about f***boys they aren't worth your time! you deserve a real man

LyricaSilvan 29

Saturday 23 January 2016 11:02

Don't do it.

Nomaddict 14

Saturday 23 January 2016 11:05

sounds like you need to block someone.

exergency 17

Saturday 23 January 2016 11:33

If someone doesn't stick by you the difficult situations of life, then they certainly don't deserve you at your best times.

Nysha 17

Saturday 23 January 2016 11:43

Congratulations on your new life, minus one giant turd bucket! Maybe you should print him off some instructions on making a DIY fleshlight as a parting gift.