Love: Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses....

By married - 16/10/2010 12:31 - United States

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 552

You deserved it 7 262

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Same thing different taste

By unacceptable - 04/06/2012 15:02 - Australia

Today, my mum thought it was perfectly acceptable to post a status on Facebook about how well she is healing up after her hemorrhoid surgery, and tag me in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 309

You deserved it 2 745

Reset my life

By Username - 17/05/2011 04:05

Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 156

You deserved it 8 697

By GshDrnt - 21/04/2011 02:57 - United States

Today, I logged on to Facebook and had 64 notifications. I thought that perhaps I was popular. But no, it was my ten year old sister, liking 64 of my pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 169

You deserved it 6 604

By facebook - 24/06/2010 10:09 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 018

You deserved it 4 985

By notpregnant - 21/12/2009 18:12 - United States

Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 884

You deserved it 14 020

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 08:23 - United States - Portland

Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 164

You deserved it 4 499

By surprise - 11/12/2009 21:04 - United States

Today, I was getting ready to go to a surprise party I'd planned for my best friend. All was going well on the discretion part until I logged onto Facebook. I saw that my sister had set her status to, "At Natalie's surprise party! BBL!" Natalie had liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 147

You deserved it 3 294

Really close

By Anonymous - 15/06/2020 20:08

Today, my sister made her engagement official on Facebook. When I shared the post to spread the word, people didn't read her boyfriend's name, and I started getting questions on why my sister and I were getting married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 322

By Anonymous - 11/03/2014 22:27 - United States - Remus

Today, my sister brought me coffee to my office. It was really nice so I made a status about it on Facebook. My boyfriend texted me soon after, freaking out because I never put anything on Facebook about him and how great he is. I'm basically dating a 14-year-old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 516

You deserved it 7 191

Party hard!

By _Emilyy - 12/07/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I updated my Facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 531

You deserved it 10 527

hedgerow 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 19:31

that's nasty why would you like that?

FYLDeep 25

Saturday 16 October 2010 19:36

Detail what afterbirth smells like on your next status. Try to outdo her.

Comments

MeganCello 8

Friday 5 November 2010 5:04

You just had a baby? How the hell do you have time to spend much time on Facebook?

NeMoWuZhErE 0

Monday 8 November 2010 3:06

sooooo havta agree with yhur sister

moxie0dae 4

Saturday 8 January 2011 5:26

period blood does smell pretty gross

Chrissy93 4

Thursday 27 January 2011 23:18

Yeah but the comment thats more humorous will tend to get the most likes

obxgal13 0

Monday 14 February 2011 2:11

wow...

coyote8 4

Wednesday 16 February 2011 0:50

get some better friends . . .

chickletno1 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 7:36

ewwww

makennaj 0

Sunday 13 March 2011 21:24

well that bull. punch her in the face and ask her what that blood smells like.

kasumirock 13

Wednesday 6 July 2011 23:51

I bet she got so many likes because she is "popular". But I doubt that any of those people actually like her.

j_casa 5

Monday 25 July 2011 10:29

maybe it's cuz you don't have that many friends who really care

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Today, I started keeping track. From 7 am to 8:30 pm, my wife, my 11 year-old son, and my 9 year-old daughter screamed for my help 154 times. Every time, it was the most mundane, trivial shit that they could have solved with a nanosecond of critical thinking, but no, easier to bother Dad for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 170

Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 473

You deserved it 2 502

The Top

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but when I took out the ring it flew out of the box and disappeared. She's been crying for 3 hours and I'm down 2 grand. I still don't know what her answer is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 690

You deserved it 546

Today, I was running late for a meeting and wound up getting stuck in traffic, which started to stress me out to the point of road rage at no one in particular. When I finally arrived, the meeting had been cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 248

Today, while walking home with my mom, some unoriginal cockshart in a passing car yelled at me: "Fuck her in the pussy!" It was a long, awkward walk home after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 101

You deserved it 2 975

Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 722

You deserved it 26 954

Today, I helped a very large elderly man, who thanked me and tried to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him, "We are not allowed to accept tips from customers." His reply was, "You're going to take this fucking money," and shoved it in my pocket. I'm now being written up for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 692

You deserved it 2 954

Today, I was showing my crush/co-worker how to operate a particular piece of machinery. She exclaimed out loud, "Oh! This knob pulls out," then mumbled under her breath, "unlike my boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 838

You deserved it 1 542

Same thing different taste

Reset my life

Really close

Party hard!

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