Miscellaneous: Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into...

By sheridan.ashley - 15/05/2010 06:27 - Australia

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 037

You deserved it 3 518

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/11/2015 05:02 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my 9 year old shitblossom of a sister decided to wake me up by hocking a loogie into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 760

You deserved it 1 843

By Anonymous - 28/10/2012 10:43 - United States

Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 138

You deserved it 4 459

By NoseInPain - 20/08/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, my little sister thought it'd be cool to pierce my nose while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 478

You deserved it 3 980

By baldspot - 02/04/2012 05:38 - Australia

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 981

You deserved it 2 886

Whooped

By leah - 16/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 470

You deserved it 140

By Fml24609 - 20/08/2010 06:20 - United States

Today, I ended up sleeping on the dirty floor because my sister didn't want to share a king size bed with me. She got up to get a drink and stepped on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 764

You deserved it 5 733

By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 395

You deserved it 66 459

Eau de toilette

By anon - 05/03/2011 10:15 - United States

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 510

You deserved it 3 124

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 20:00 - United States

Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 662

You deserved it 102

By jessefonsexy. - 07/12/2010 11:08 - United States

Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 141

You deserved it 2 772

super3286 14

Saturday 15 May 2010 16:07

minty morning

dramaababyy 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 16:10

lol well good morning to you. make sure you get revenge. and then she can post it on fml. hahaa.

Comments

xHabsfanx 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 16:54

Soo umm did you swallow?

ScaryyMary 14

Saturday 15 May 2010 17:08

Did you?

ninjanate 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 17:20

she swallowed last night. that's why her sis pured hand wash in her mouth.

ninjanate 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 17:22

poured *

KillU2009 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 17:11

i love your sister.... she loves me too

babyteef 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 17:11

Hahaha I can imagine the OP flipping out with foam spilling from her mouth like a rabid animal. That sucks but I bet you did something to make her do that..

sugarr0babby0 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 17:26

u have the same case for ur iPhone as me :D

babyteef 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 17:28

Great minds think alike ;)

sugarr0babby0 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 18:10

hahaha :)

jplumbob 4

Saturday 15 May 2010 18:13

87 how old r u?

babyteef 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 20:36

almost 20..why? :)

ninjanate 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 17:12

wht a bitch.

ninjanate 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 17:15

dirty mouth? clean in up with Germ-X. dafp

Reaper417 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 17:16

maybe op has stinky ass breath and his sis was trying to help

sugarr0babby0 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 17:23

# 53 , are you a guy or a girl? Sadly, I cannot tell....

jplumbob 4

Saturday 15 May 2010 18:11

53 looks like a girl. I think I see boobies.

goingdown_fml 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 17:34

slap that little turd

heyarnold69 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 17:52

high 5 to your sister.

EmmyGrangerDC 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 18:04

wow. even my Brother isn't that mean...

Keywords

Christmas Love Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family

The Top

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 100

You deserved it 7 572

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 132

The Top

Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 321

You deserved it 3 389

Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 503

You deserved it 561

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a love letter during class and told him to read it when he got home. He texted me later asking me why I gave him my school assignment. I must have handed the love letter in to my teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 358

You deserved it 7 777

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 977

You deserved it 8 217

Today, my girlfriend met my parents for the first time. The first thing my mom said to my girlfriend was, "Honey, are you ok? You look like you got hives." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 369

You deserved it 3 511

Today, my boyfriend told me why he stood me up last night instead of coming over to visit. Apparently me telling him I couldn't wait for him to do naughty things to me turned him off, and made him feel like a piece of meat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 130

You deserved it 11 776

Same thing different taste

Whooped

Eau de toilette

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