Miscellaneous: Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into...

By sheridan.ashley - 15/05/2010 06:27 - Australia

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 037

You deserved it 3 518

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/11/2015 05:02 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my 9 year old shitblossom of a sister decided to wake me up by hocking a loogie into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 760

You deserved it 1 843

By Anonymous - 28/10/2012 10:43 - United States

Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 138

You deserved it 4 459

By NoseInPain - 20/08/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, my little sister thought it'd be cool to pierce my nose while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 478

You deserved it 3 980

By baldspot - 02/04/2012 05:38 - Australia

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 981

You deserved it 2 886

Whooped

By leah - 16/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 470

You deserved it 140

By Fml24609 - 20/08/2010 06:20 - United States

Today, I ended up sleeping on the dirty floor because my sister didn't want to share a king size bed with me. She got up to get a drink and stepped on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 764

You deserved it 5 733

By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 395

You deserved it 66 459

Eau de toilette

By anon - 05/03/2011 10:15 - United States

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 510

You deserved it 3 124

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 20:00 - United States

Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 662

You deserved it 102

By jessefonsexy. - 07/12/2010 11:08 - United States

Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 141

You deserved it 2 772

super3286 14

Saturday 15 May 2010 16:07

minty morning

dramaababyy 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 16:10

lol well good morning to you. make sure you get revenge. and then she can post it on fml. hahaa.

Comments

jessxoxo28 5

Saturday 15 May 2010 18:39

lol, i gotta admit... thats a good one

tasha_caliente 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 18:42

how iz tht an fm

HeretoBlame 3

Saturday 15 May 2010 18:52

your lucky she didnt hit you in the balls ....thank your sister for being nice

wreckem881 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 18:52

that must be a weird foreign thing .. that we here in AMERICA know little about (thank god!)

margxoxo 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 18:57

So...........does it taste good? :)

JesseJaymz 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 19:05

awwww skeet skeet skeet skeet!!!

CooLbEAnS1096 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 19:28

win

candice79_fml 5

Saturday 15 May 2010 19:12

cloes your mouth next time.

tasha_caliente 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 19:13

4 real close ur mout

clo_clo_fml 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 19:16

Haha. I would've spit it at her and gotten it in her eyes! Sweet sweet revenge! lol

VioletHill_fml 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 19:21

why do you write hand wash...why not just soap?

FarSide 22

Saturday 15 May 2010 19:48

Why in the hell do you care?

Keywords

Love Christmas Break-ups Money Annoying Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family DIY

The Top

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 490

You deserved it 3 817

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 148

You deserved it 6 979

The Top

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 107

You deserved it 7 258

Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up… out my left nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 112

You deserved it 6 293

Today, my roommate and I were walking to a bar and a group of guys shouted out at us "Hey, it's like we're on Animal Planet, I see a zebra and a gorilla." My roommate was wearing a zebra print shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 576

You deserved it 5 130

Today, my fiancé got his associate degree in the mail. Wanting to surprise him when he got home, I opened it to display it before going out to buy groceries. His dog got a hold of his degree and shredded it to pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 310

You deserved it 1 790

Today, I got a reply from a women who's SD card I found 2 months ago and tried to give back. Yesterday I formatted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 370

You deserved it 746

Today, I was fired from my job over a coupon a coworker offered me for bonus reward points. Apparently, it wasn't one I was entitled to. I never even looked at the coupon and assumed it was fine since they offered it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 175

You deserved it 509

Same thing different taste

Whooped

Eau de toilette

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