Intimacy: Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From... - FML

By lababy - 15/11/2011 17:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 784

You deserved it 21 155

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By njh - 27/03/2015 13:29 - Ireland

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 342

You deserved it 3 612

By poormom - 27/06/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 110

You deserved it 28 918

By CiaoBella - 20/06/2016 03:16

Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 520

You deserved it 2 764

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 10:34 - United States - Bessemer

Spicy

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 538

You deserved it 15 220

By Anonymous - 19/01/2015 14:34 - United States - Lewiston

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 681

You deserved it 7 565

By epistaxis - 29/01/2009 02:31 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 730

You deserved it 3 958

Inappropriate but funny

By um... maybe - 12/03/2013 22:43 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 004

You deserved it 5 036

True

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 16:09

Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 044

You deserved it 246

By Ben - 21/08/2009 21:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 309

You deserved it 4 727

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:41 - United Kingdom - Oundle

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 384

You deserved it 3 651

Next

Top comments

jjames7543 13

Tuesday 15 November 2011 22:07

At least Dad was being honest

Savra_fml 17

Tuesday 15 November 2011 22:10

OPs Kid: "So, where do you come from Raul?" Raul: "From Madrid in Spain. How about you?" OPs Kid: "From my daddys penis"

Comments

FMLoverAgain 7

Wednesday 16 November 2011 3:37

Daddy was right!

SkardeyKat 3

Wednesday 16 November 2011 3:42

Well now the kid is going to ask "mommy, what is *******?"

brownbear16 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 3:44

xD

princessmollysue 9

Wednesday 16 November 2011 3:47

Wow !

Mathyouu 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 4:10

What a good dad. (:

yesio12 13

Wednesday 16 November 2011 4:12

Well, truth hurts I guess.

samantha0911 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 4:13

Well what a good father figure...(smh!)

purebliss7 6

Wednesday 16 November 2011 4:32

if that was my husband he would be getting a swift kick in the ass even if you are going to tell your child the truth about where babies come from you dont use that language.

flyboy96 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 4:36

Don't lie to your kid like that. Especially so blatantly. That's just mean. :(

causticgirl 6

Wednesday 16 November 2011 4:39

Sounds like Dad has such a way with words..

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The Top

Today, I told my son to get a job and start paying rent. Five minutes later he transferred me rent for the next 5 years. When I demanded to know where he got that kind of money, he showed me his bank statements. He’s made more money mining Bitcoin than I’ve made in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 1 363

Today, I tried to talk to my teenage son about healthy masculinity. He said, "Yeah Mom, I know. Lift weights and eat red meat and fish. Can I go?" Not what I meant at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 367

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try “things” while under the influence. I suggested he go down on me; he thought about it for a second and then said, “I would, but I don’t want to get scared when I take a look.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 273

Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 672

Today, my mother said I'm slipping too deep into depression since my boyfriend left for college in Fresno. Her solution? Buying me a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 301

You deserved it 7 562

Today, my co-workers were laughing at me because I couldn't throw paper into the bin, regardless of how close I was. Annoyed, I tried to prove then wrong by angry throwing paper into the bin that was no less that 1 cm away from me. I missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 832

You deserved it 1 316

Today, I drove my truck into the garage for a couple of minor repairs. It was returned on a flatbed with a blown engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 845

You deserved it 111

Today, someone left a note on the front door saying, "Let's play Hide and Seek". Whoever left the note apparently took the wheels off my truck and scattered them. So far, I've found one in my pool, and two outside my neighbor's house. I still can't find the last one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 523

You deserved it 167