Intimacy: Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From... - FML

By lababy - 15/11/2011 17:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 783

You deserved it 21 154

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By njh - 27/03/2015 13:29 - Ireland

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 341

You deserved it 3 612

By poormom - 27/06/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 110

You deserved it 28 918

By CiaoBella - 20/06/2016 03:16

Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 520

You deserved it 2 764

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 10:34 - United States - Bessemer

Spicy

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 537

You deserved it 15 220

By Anonymous - 19/01/2015 14:34 - United States - Lewiston

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 681

You deserved it 7 565

By epistaxis - 29/01/2009 02:31 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 730

You deserved it 3 958

Inappropriate but funny

By um... maybe - 12/03/2013 22:43 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 004

You deserved it 5 036

True

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 16:09

Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 044

You deserved it 246

By Ben - 21/08/2009 21:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 307

You deserved it 4 727

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:41 - United Kingdom - Oundle

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 382

You deserved it 3 651

Next

Top comments

jjames7543 13

Tuesday 15 November 2011 22:07

At least Dad was being honest

Savra_fml 17

Tuesday 15 November 2011 22:10

OPs Kid: "So, where do you come from Raul?" Raul: "From Madrid in Spain. How about you?" OPs Kid: "From my daddys penis"

Comments

Donniehw 5

Wednesday 16 November 2011 0:57

Unless you practice safe breath... Song for this story: I remember everything By five finger deathpuch

bigtaytay 13

Wednesday 16 November 2011 1:04

Your husband is a ******* genius

beba7986 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 1:01

Lmao! Too funny!

muckler 1

Wednesday 16 November 2011 1:14

Real father > mythical heavenly father

caligirl6808 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 1:14

wow your husband I'd awesome

maxximum98 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 1:39

That is a great dad!

cash_monkey72 9

Wednesday 16 November 2011 1:41

The German town, right?

mea_iloveskiing 26

Wednesday 16 November 2011 1:46

Does your kid know santa doesn't exist? Because if not..

cdpaam 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 1:51

Well thats one way of putting! I guess??

skinny_treats 6

Wednesday 16 November 2011 1:53

atta boy, daddy speaks the truth. lol.

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The Top

Today, nine weeks after giving birth, my husband and I finally tried to have sex since a friend was watching the baby. Not only could I not get wet due to hormones, but as soon as he got back from buying lube, his drunk brother called needing a ride from the bar. No sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 207

You deserved it 324

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I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 18

The Top

Today, I was volunteering at the library. A kid came up and asked me to help him peel the back off his sticker. It took me so long the kid left. Determined, I still tried to peel it off. Fifteen minutes later, the librarian came over, looked once at it, and told me it wasn't a sticker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 182

You deserved it 41 844

Today, I was woken up by my family surrounding me with breakfast in bed and "Sweet 16" balloons. My birthday is in 3 months, and I'll be 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 190

You deserved it 4 122

Today, I’m doing my clinicals at a teaching hospital. An irate patient began hurling slurs and demanded I leave the room during her exam. She didn’t care that I was a student; she thought I was a man. I’m not now nor have I ever been male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 86

Today, a little girl standing next to me on the train suddenly hugged me. I thought maybe she was sad or I reminded her of someone, and hugged her back. Then she smiled, squeezed my love handles, and said, "Honk, honk!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 426

You deserved it 6 816

Today, after my boyfriend had been away for months, I invited him over to have sex. He said he hurt his back too badly to do anything. Don't worry though, it doesn't hurt enough to stop him from working on his truck for several hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 209

You deserved it 587

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I've been "spending too much time at the bar." I've been sober for 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 847

You deserved it 144