Kids: Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed...

By ulisha5 - 02/08/2013 21:54 - Bulgaria - Burgas

Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 592

You deserved it 4 363

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By lawdy - 21/05/2017 20:00

Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 480

You deserved it 639

By mommyopps - 26/03/2016 02:14 - United States - Madison Lake

Today, I'm beginning to regret explaining death to my 3-year-old son. We were at the supermarket when he looked at an elderly woman and loudly told her "You're gonna die soon!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 906

You deserved it 3 573

By anon - 09/07/2011 04:48 - Australia

Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her it meant that they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 212

You deserved it 7 413

By Anonymous - 05/06/2015 15:58 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I took my 6-year-old son to visit his grandmother, as the doctors say she only has days left to live. Minutes after we arrived, he leaned in close and told her that she's going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 104

You deserved it 3 510

By anonymous - 21/06/2011 23:51 - Canada

Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 844

You deserved it 3 622

By Anonymous - 03/04/2017 00:00

Today, my husband told my 5-year-old daughter that if I swallowed a watermelon seed, I would get pregnant. Tonight, she dropped one in my mouth while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 309

You deserved it 629

By disappointed - 01/07/2016 03:31 - United States - Rockville

Today, my eldest daughter told me about the sharp pains she's been having for the past couple of days. She also told me how she thinks it's really pointy carrots trying to escape her body. She's 11, and going to middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 044

You deserved it 1 483

By Cherrish it - 04/09/2012 04:24 - United States - Carmichael

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 603

You deserved it 58 884

By dorianseiji - 11/03/2015 20:37 - France - Amiens

Today, I ate an apple. My sister then walks in dressed as a witch, and asks, "Have you seen my poisoned apple?" She was playing at Snow White, and the apple had been dipped in the toilet, the cat's food bowl and the garbage can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 322

You deserved it 6 840

By Anonymous - 11/09/2013 18:10 - United States - Miami

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 178

You deserved it 10 071

slooby_fml 25

Saturday 3 August 2013 5:31

She's pretty clever to not fall for your shenanigans

ryanthecheeseguy 18

Saturday 3 August 2013 5:35

This girl is going places. Not college, but places.

Comments

tehdarkness 21

Saturday 3 August 2013 6:47

Google it and show her

mete_orito 34

Saturday 3 August 2013 7:04

Swallow an apple seed in front of her. Or maybe a watermelon seed. :-P

blvcklvnd69 14

Saturday 3 August 2013 7:21

did she have a feeling in her stomach :o

_Neshaa 5

Saturday 3 August 2013 7:25

First he convinced her she's a ghost and now an apple tree will grow in her? He's a clever little shit (:

Enslaved 36

Saturday 3 August 2013 7:28

"Eating seeds as a pastime activity The toxicity of our city, our city"

2035 9

Saturday 3 August 2013 7:58

You're gonna have a tree for a daughter soon OP

katejones 8

Saturday 3 August 2013 8:01

Tell her the acid in her stomach will destroy the seeds ability to germinate. And don't let her google growing seeds in people because I'm pretty sure someone once grew something in a lung after inhaling it - unless that's a hoax.