Money, Capitalism and Kids: Today, my son told me that he doesn't need to go to school because...

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 04:20 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my son told me that he doesn't need to go to school because he doesn't need a job. It turns out he plans to get a life sentence in prison and live the rest of his life at the taxpayers' expense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 310

You deserved it 3 785

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Same thing different taste

By Seriously - 15/06/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 290

You deserved it 8 488

By Anonymous - 22/03/2016 21:17 - United States - Fremont

Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 123

You deserved it 2 088

Well done

By Anonymous - 17/10/2015 11:41 - United States - Mechanicsville

Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a wimp and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 319

You deserved it 4 294

Sneaky

By Suckered - 04/12/2015 21:47 - United States - Hialeah

Today, I found out my son was never accepted into the local university two years ago. He actually went out and got a job, and only lied about it so he could keep living in my house rent-free. The conniving bastard makes more than I do at my minimum-wage job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 715

You deserved it 4 733

Wingnut

By Anonymous - 29/06/2022 06:00

Today, my son actually tried to get out of being arrested by claiming he was “an agent” and unless they let him go, his employers “from the government” would come looking for him and there would be “consequences”. The officers eventually got their breath back from laughing at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 192

By oldmama728 - 28/04/2011 11:07

Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 375

You deserved it 46 380

By Anonymous - 12/06/2011 19:21 - United States

Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has to bail me out of jail, because "it's bound to happen sooner or later." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 647

You deserved it 10 768

I can fix him

By Anonymous - 24/10/2021 07:00 - United Kingdom - Bedford

Today, my daughter must be punishing me for something. She's dating a boy who dropped out of high school to “escape the system” and yet loves collecting unemployment benefits, and refuses to read books because he hates not knowing what the characters really look like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 159

By fuck - 02/06/2011 18:43 - United States

Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 114

You deserved it 5 954

Sounds like he's got it all figured out

By Anonymous - 10/04/2022 16:00

Today, my son apparently has no interest in having a life. He goes from his tiny one-bed flat to work, then back home again to play with his computer. It’s a good job, so he can afford a life, but he has no friends, never dates or goes anywhere, he even gets his shopping delivered. What can I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 1 051

MedChew 19

Sunday 11 October 2015 18:32

Well better practice holding onto soaps properly then

clairelaliberte 16

Sunday 11 October 2015 18:31

Tell him to move to Sweden or Norway. At least he would be living a stylish criminal life.

Comments

Azpy 26

Sunday 11 October 2015 19:24

Smart kid

allforfun 23

Sunday 11 October 2015 19:26

Sounds like his parents are republicans

BobbyJ86 4

Sunday 11 October 2015 19:29

Nice!

cmusick12 7

Sunday 11 October 2015 19:30

This kid is going places. Not school, but places.

philosophicallll 25

Sunday 11 October 2015 23:38

nobody likes a copycat

HarryWholock87 17

Sunday 11 October 2015 23:48

@84 nobody likes an asshole,yet here you are

buckdharma 36

Sunday 11 October 2015 19:31

No, no, his thinking is flawed. Teach him to slip and fall convincingly. Then he can explain to a jury how his dreams of becoming a ballet dancer have been shattered. After falling and getting back up many, many times his hard work will pay off and he can live in the lap of luxury. Playing xbox on a giant screen while servants bring him Mountain Dew and Tater Tots.

NodakN8V 25

Sunday 11 October 2015 19:32

This kid is going places...obvious not college...but places.

Lilkat39 5

Sunday 11 October 2015 19:33

I guess explaining to him that getting raped and beaten is a regular thing in jail. Not to mention some huge Indian, right off the reserve named slim, will force him to be his girlfriend. Take him to 118 Ave in Edmonton on a Saturday night and point out the people he will be living with in jail. He'll change his mind really, really fast.

8Dirty1 24

Sunday 11 October 2015 19:35

can't say I haven't thought about it

O0hdear 21

Sunday 11 October 2015 19:39

sounds like he needs some therapy because if he's planning on getting a life sentence he's probably planning a murder

christopherwilli 14

Sunday 11 October 2015 19:40

I hear the Scandinavian countries have a rather nice prison system. But in all seriousness, you should probably stop him before he does something he'll regret.