Kids: Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and...

By cjay2200 - 28/08/2011 21:25 - United Kingdom

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 173

You deserved it 9 922

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Same thing different taste

What's cooking?

By Hunter - 06/12/2010 06:17

Today, my five year-old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side, so I grabbed a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML

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You deserved it 33 861

By Dafawk - 19/06/2016 20:54

Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML

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You deserved it 6 509

By Anonymous - 16/10/2017 01:30

Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML

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You deserved it 474

5-star meal

By storyofmylife - 15/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 644

You deserved it 10 789

By sdasdflkjas - 30/05/2009 04:24 - United States

Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 147

You deserved it 6 360

By jbhadafuckedupday - 15/03/2018 01:30

Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML

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You deserved it 450

Learning curve

By Anonymous - 16/08/2017 16:00

Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML

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You deserved it 492

Hygienic

By imfullthanks - 14/03/2009 23:06 - Norway

Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML

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You deserved it 7 671

By George Saunders - 21/03/2012 04:06 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 084

You deserved it 53 494

By Anonymous - 11/09/2011 19:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 244

You deserved it 3 186

iAmScrubs 19

Monday 29 August 2011 8:56

At least he didn't flush it down because then you would have to call a plumber.

herop 0

Monday 29 August 2011 8:51

Poor plum, poor mom

Comments

Squirrelx 5

Monday 29 August 2011 21:06

Yeah, the first time I read this, I took it wrong...

Petunia888 13

Monday 29 August 2011 21:29

No, you took it RIGHT. XD

welandedonthemoo 5

Monday 29 August 2011 21:53

Where you plum surprised

vbmg152 18

Monday 29 August 2011 22:14

You deserve it in so many ways!

physicist48 0

Monday 29 August 2011 22:20

It's probably nothing. People tend to psych themselves out after knowing something like that.

lilcatisawesome 7

Monday 29 August 2011 22:45

That is hilarious :):):):):);):):):

Emmy_The_Great 2

Monday 29 August 2011 22:48

Me too! And then I thought she would mistakingly hear "bum"...

MetalLetteRaver 0

Monday 29 August 2011 22:50

Okay.. I'm gonna go with forget washing it, just throw it away...

AislinP 13

Monday 29 August 2011 22:57

You should be fine. :) Urine is sterile because it's acidic. People actually sometimes drink it during emergency situations. At least there wasn't something else on the plum.