Kids: Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and...

By cjay2200 - 28/08/2011 21:25 - United Kingdom

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 176

You deserved it 9 927

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By Anonymous - 29/11/2024 13:00 - Canada - Minnedosa

Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML

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You deserved it 404

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By Hunter - 06/12/2010 06:17

Today, my five year-old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side, so I grabbed a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML

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By Dafawk - 19/06/2016 20:54

Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 302

You deserved it 6 518

By Anonymous - 16/10/2017 01:30

Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 900

You deserved it 475

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By storyofmylife - 15/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 646

You deserved it 10 789

By sdasdflkjas - 30/05/2009 04:24 - United States

Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 150

You deserved it 6 360

By jbhadafuckedupday - 15/03/2018 01:30

Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 097

You deserved it 452

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By Anonymous - 16/08/2017 16:00

Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 080

You deserved it 495

Hygienic

By imfullthanks - 14/03/2009 23:06 - Norway

Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 685

You deserved it 7 672

By George Saunders - 21/03/2012 04:06 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 084

You deserved it 53 504

iAmScrubs 19

Monday 29 August 2011 8:56

At least he didn't flush it down because then you would have to call a plumber.

herop 0

Monday 29 August 2011 8:51

Poor plum, poor mom

Comments

IWATCHYOUSLEEP 7

Monday 29 August 2011 9:11

It's ONE plum.. so sad

catnip1997 0

Monday 29 August 2011 9:15

His plum is wet? What a potty mouth.

BlackFireGeisha 4

Monday 29 August 2011 9:21

This is why parents should take the little but of time to freakin' listen to their kids.

monkeys1315 0

Monday 29 August 2011 21:13

I agree

khaya 9

Monday 29 August 2011 9:24

Fruit is not shit but it can sometimes be a substitute for it.

catharsis5 9

Monday 29 August 2011 9:40

All I could say is ew, and hopefully you get better.

PandaPandy 6

Monday 29 August 2011 9:49

Why didn't you just wash it like the boy asked? Lol

PandaPandy 6

Monday 29 August 2011 9:54

Oops. ^ fail. You should've asked why it was wet before taking a bite :3

xrainbowshadowx 17

Monday 29 August 2011 9:49

After reading this, the first rule I'm establishing as a parents is: No plums when you're going to the bathroom. Better yet, no food whatsoever. Thank you OP, I'm now prepared for any future mishaps...and I hope you ran to the bathroom to brush your teeth and maybe mouthwash. FYL