Health: Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice....

By PixieWrists - 13/03/2012 17:33 - United Kingdom

Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 825

You deserved it 4 100

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Same thing different taste

By mmromig - 08/02/2011 14:46 - United States

Today, my therapist told me that I need to do something different with my hair. Then I paid her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 489

You deserved it 5 589

You helped her see the light

By losercancer - 23/04/2021 23:30 - Georgia

Today, my girlfriend left me, saying she'd started to appreciate herself more with the help of a therapist. That I paid for her to visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 216

By Screwed Up - 09/05/2013 05:30 - United States

Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 447

You deserved it 4 307

By ohdang - 01/03/2012 17:12 - United States

Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 466

You deserved it 3 992

By NeoDepressed - 31/03/2019 12:00 - Czech Republic

Today, my parents screamed at me for cutting my wrists. They asked me if I wanted a therapist. I said that I didn't know. Then my mom said, "But wait, it's going to cost a lot of money!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 243

You deserved it 641

By mental - 25/10/2012 23:09 - United States

Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 621

You deserved it 6 077

Wow, thanks, I'm cured

By Anonymous - 01/06/2022 14:00 - Australia - Epping

Today, I went to see a certified trauma specialist for my PTSD. I saw her for 35 minutes of my hour-long session because she ran late with the patient before me, and then kicked me out early. Her expert treatment plan? "Just don't think about it." I paid $260 for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 310

You deserved it 118

Emotional

By Anonymous - 18/07/2023 06:00

Today, I've been seeing a therapist after more than 20 years of struggles. I think I saw him cry during our sessions a few times. I guess that my inability to live my life at the fullest was hard earned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 151

By Josh - 27/09/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I found out the reason why my therapist was so nice to me all of the time. Apparently, she is afraid that I'm going to stab her if she pisses me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 424

You deserved it 5 839

Not helping

By Anonymous - 28/03/2015 15:50 - United Kingdom - Horsham

Today, I had my first therapy session for the issues caused by trying to please my overbearing, paranoid, self-centred mother. The first thing she did after we started driving home? Ranting at me and demanding to know if I'd been "talking shit" about her to my therapist FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 790

You deserved it 2 336

Webslinger66 10

Tuesday 13 March 2012 22:32

You are beautiful. No matter what they say!! You now owe me $50

ALlamaOnFire 20

Tuesday 13 March 2012 22:32

Ditch that bitch.

Comments

dominic1221 6

Tuesday 13 March 2012 22:35

You might try my therapist, he's much cheaper, goes by the name Mr B. Torrent.

Meowingtons500 18

Tuesday 13 March 2012 22:35

I'm a genie in a bottle, Gotta rub me the right way

arielzbkny 0

Wednesday 14 March 2012 0:40

*love me the right way

desireev 17

Wednesday 14 March 2012 1:02

74- Huh? No. It's 'ya gotta rub me the right way.'. Genie+Lamp= Rub the lamp for the genie to come out. I know the song is "Genie in a Bottle", but, I assure you, it's 'ya gotta rub me the right way'.

Meowingtons500 18

Wednesday 14 March 2012 2:25

Hahahaha 74, don't even try to tell me I'm wrong. When it comes to Xtina, this kid knows her shit. :)

nublets 12

Wednesday 14 March 2012 3:20

Meowingtons!! Why are you away from the deadmau5!?

Meowingtons500 18

Wednesday 14 March 2012 4:09

98- Bout' time someone catches the reference. :D

daxxbuttons 12

Wednesday 14 March 2012 21:51

*slips on reading glasses and clears throat* Here's what the lyrics are, according to Google's first result. I feel like I've been locked up tight For a century of lonely nights; Waiting for someone To release me. You're licking your lips and blowing kisses my way, But that don't mean I'm gonna give it away; Baby, baby, baby. (Baby, baby, baby.) Oh, My body's saying let's go. Oh, But my heart is saying no. If you want to be with me, baby, there's a price to pay. I'm a genie in a bottle, you gotta rub me the right way. If you want to be with me, I can make your wish come true. You gotta make a big impression (oh yeah), gotta like what you do. I'm a genie in a bottle, baby. Gotta rub me the right way, honey. I'm a genie in a bottle, baby, Come, come, come on and let me out. The music's playing and the lights' down low, One more dance and then we're good to go; Waiting for someone Who needs me. Hormones racin' at the speed of light, But that don't mean it's gotta be tonight; Baby, baby, baby. (Baby, baby, baby) Oh, My body's saying let's go. Oh, But my heart is saying no. If you want to be with me, baby, there's a price to pay. I'm a genie in a bottle, (I'm a genie in a bottle) you gotta rub me the right way. If you want to be with me, (ooh) I can make your wish come true. Come and set me free, baby, and I'll be with you. I'm a genie in a bottle, baby. Gotta rub me the right way, honey. I'm a genie in a bottle, baby, Come, come, come on and let me out. I'm a genie in a bottle, baby. Gotta rub me (if you want to be with me) the right way, honey. I'm a genie in a bottle, baby, Come, come, come on and let me out. Oh, My body's saying let's go. Oh, But my heart is saying no. If you want to be with me, baby, there's a price you pay. I'm a genie in a bottle (I'm a genie in a bottle) you gotta rub me the right way. If you want to be with me, I can make your wish come true. You gotta make a big impression, gotta like what you do. If you want to be with me, baby, there's a price you pay. I'm a genie in a bottle, you gotta rub me the right way. If you want to be with me, I can make your wish come true. Come and set me free, baby, and I'll be with you. Sorry, Xtina-fanatic.

nublets 12

Friday 16 March 2012 5:57

103- its because i love the mau5!

itzNaynay 0

Tuesday 13 March 2012 22:36

Whats so bad about that? Now whenever you hear that song you'll instantly feel better about yourself.

erockinthesuburb 17

Tuesday 13 March 2012 22:38

Can't imagine her advice would be any good... She can't even remember the lyrics to the national anthem.

Solid_Hippo 4

Tuesday 13 March 2012 22:42

Atleast her lyrics are good for ome thing. Still cheaper then concert tickets.

StarEatingDemon 9

Tuesday 13 March 2012 22:44

Does she tell you 'like your oldest friend just trust the voice within?"

br0ccoli 14

Tuesday 13 March 2012 22:47

Look up the lyrics to "soar" by Christina Aguilera. You are officially ready to charge for your therapeutic words of wisdom. Kidding aside - OP, as long as you were inspired, I think it was worth it. therapists are people too and need inspiring words from somewhere.

zebralover23 14

Tuesday 13 March 2012 22:48

To are beautiful no matter what they say! Lol, I would I back in there and get my money back.

KiddNYC1O 20

Wednesday 14 March 2012 0:49

Slow...down...

THExistentialist 13

Wednesday 14 March 2012 3:37

you look like every single scene wannabe, no matter what they say! at least if you can't type, you can highlight your extensions away! feel so pretty with your camera phone at the end of every day, so when Facebook gets word your friends can click "like"!