Miscellaneous: Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved...

By Anonymous - 13/02/2015 20:24

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 003

You deserved it 2 226

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Tom - 10/03/2011 11:09

Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see whose dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 265

You deserved it 3 590

By Anonymous - 20/02/2016 12:16 - United States - Chicago

Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto the block were "I don't like your face" - called the cops and claimed I'd been exposing myself in public. His lowlife buddy backed him up on his lie. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in deep trouble thanks to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 261

You deserved it 1 294

Welcome to the neighborhood

By Anonymous - 12/06/2022 00:00

Today, the crazy bitch next door called the cops for me spying on her from my bathroom window. That window was painted shut by the previous owner, and I haven’t unsealed it yet. I had to show this to the cops to prove I have no illegal motive for pissing in my own toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 76

By DaveAlmighty - 02/07/2009 07:22 - United States

Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 216

You deserved it 12 328

By fuck you, jack - 04/03/2014 20:44 - United States - Peabody

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 255

You deserved it 3 303

By Anonymous - 14/10/2013 07:13 - United States - Eagle Point

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 117

You deserved it 3 546

Leave me alone

By MIB - 13/07/2011 16:26 - United States

Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 737

You deserved it 2 824

By inyobeddd - 02/05/2013 08:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 926

You deserved it 6 719

Good samaritan

By tryingtohelp - 24/05/2020 20:00

Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor being beaten by her husband. I anonymously called 911, hoping to help. She must've seen me giving the cops my statement because as soon as they left, she knocked on my door and punched me square in the face while screaming, "Mind your own business bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 365

You deserved it 409

Not taking it well

By runsinthefamily - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Aurora

Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 003

You deserved it 4 635

cocoshake 16

Saturday 14 February 2015 8:00

report him for stalking

julianbozikovic 20

Saturday 14 February 2015 8:02

Keep doing it in front of him and when the cops come he'll look like an idiot! That'll be a good laugh :D

Comments

FitFriday 32

Sunday 15 February 2015 11:20

Thundercunt *chuckles to oneself* I'm so using this

HeyImAmy 20

Sunday 15 February 2015 12:24

I hope you told, and showed, the police that it's just insulin. I mean, you can prove that you don't do drugs so the next thing a police officer looks at is the fact that someone called 911 reporting you for drug use. How would your neighbor know you were injecting something if he/she wasn't spying on you? I hope your neighbor didn't get away with spying on you.

brandoneyez1 25

Sunday 15 February 2015 16:53

Thundercunt... Lmao that's epic.

momogal 22

Sunday 15 February 2015 17:17

I would plant thorny bushes or stinging nettles in front of my windows.

MikeFletch 11

Sunday 15 February 2015 20:02

"Thundercunt"

Dinders 16

Sunday 15 February 2015 23:47

As another fellow diabetic, I fully sympathize with you. Sorry your neighbor is such an ignorant creep!

mightyxmidget 10

Monday 16 February 2015 0:42

These are typical #diabeticprobs. They thought me and my bf were always shooting up in school. Which we were...it was just insulin

concend_blk_guy 8

Monday 16 February 2015 7:22

Thundercunt . That is just great

alexandrarae 13

Monday 16 February 2015 18:36

MOVE! Even if we ignore the fact the guys is a total rumour creating thundercunt of a douche, he's a peeping tom and that shit ain't cool. Get yourself outta there before things get worse.