Kids: Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was...

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 547

You deserved it 5 212

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

I just can't hide it

By doomeddaddy - 03/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 246

You deserved it 3 234

Good job

By Anonymous - 11/01/2010 18:08 - United States

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 086

You deserved it 3 619

Potty drama

By NeverEndingBathtime_ - 03/08/2017 20:00

Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 748

You deserved it 1 093

Training day

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 534

You deserved it 24 653

By subtweetqueen - 09/09/2016 04:18 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, the 3-year-old I nanny wanted to prove to me that he was tall enough to pee standing up in front of the toilet. When he realized he actually was tall enough, he got excited and misdirected his stream, covering himself, his brother, and me in urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 524

You deserved it 1 234

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 02:24 - United States

Today, was the first day of potty training for my toddler. While watching a "How to Potty Train" video, I noticed my toddler was making a weird face on the side of the couch. I walked over to her, picked her up and a big pile of poop dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 866

You deserved it 5 704

Creative

By Kymberly Hams - 09/04/2019 10:00 - Australia

Today, my toddler was supposed to be taking a nap. Instead, he decided it was the perfect time to remove his own nappy for the first time ever. He painted his walls, floor, bed and body, then started crying because he was dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 050

You deserved it 340

By WOCOACH - 09/09/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 900

You deserved it 5 044

By TiredMommy - 20/04/2017 18:00 - United States - Southbridge

Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 570

You deserved it 518

Well done sweetie

By Mommy - 29/09/2010 22:47 - United States

Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 506

You deserved it 3 676

NoMercy_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:05

Were you "pissed" off?

xHaniffax 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:04

Awwwwwe how cute

Comments

NightVVulf 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:08

kids are amazing ^^

Walt_1990 3

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:13

You'll remember this like 10 years from now and laugh at these nostaligic memories hahaha no matter how gross it is.

keluiserious 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:22

that is so cute, u should be proud of him.

blondie415 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:23

I would have punished him. You do not throw your pee at people! Especially your mother!! And she wasn't "pissed off" she was "pissed on"

Jes12 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:27

OMFG. ROTFLMFAO That's hilarious. and disgusting. Awww I like your kid. Those are the things you'll remember once he/she gets older. lol :D

LMAO_over_here 0

Friday 19 June 2009 10:49

+1 LOLOL

_cherry_blossom_ 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:29

i agree with #32 all the way. you may be mad about it now but just wait a few years and you'll be cracking up about it.

fallenarchangel 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:30

Ydi cause you didn't react in time to move out of the way

habeeboburky94 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:45

haha :) but that's cute xD

Colby_Colbert 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:51

Niiiice

darkmis1 17

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:53

At least he's potty trained now-just carry an unbrella till he starts using a real toilet.

Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Miscellaneous Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Zoom

The Top

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 341

You deserved it 3 784

...

I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 18

The Top

Today, I was following a makeup tutorial on YouTube. The girl said to apply concealer to any "problem areas" on my face. When I was done, 90% of my face was covered in concealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 324

You deserved it 6 042

Today, my mother-in-law invited all my wife’s friends and family, and my family, to her baby shower, well over a 50-60 people. Two people came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 126

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 014

You deserved it 7 833

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 114

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 527

You deserved it 3 833

Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 583

You deserved it 3 518