Kids: Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was...

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML

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Same thing different taste

I just can't hide it

By doomeddaddy - 03/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

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Good job

By Anonymous - 11/01/2010 18:08 - United States

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

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Potty drama

By NeverEndingBathtime_ - 03/08/2017 20:00

Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML

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Training day

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

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By subtweetqueen - 09/09/2016 04:18 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, the 3-year-old I nanny wanted to prove to me that he was tall enough to pee standing up in front of the toilet. When he realized he actually was tall enough, he got excited and misdirected his stream, covering himself, his brother, and me in urine. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 02:24 - United States

Today, was the first day of potty training for my toddler. While watching a "How to Potty Train" video, I noticed my toddler was making a weird face on the side of the couch. I walked over to her, picked her up and a big pile of poop dropped. FML

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Creative

By Kymberly Hams - 09/04/2019 10:00 - Australia

Today, my toddler was supposed to be taking a nap. Instead, he decided it was the perfect time to remove his own nappy for the first time ever. He painted his walls, floor, bed and body, then started crying because he was dirty. FML

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By WOCOACH - 09/09/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

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You deserved it 5 044

By TiredMommy - 20/04/2017 18:00 - United States - Southbridge

Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML

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Well done sweetie

By Mommy - 29/09/2010 22:47 - United States

Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML

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You deserved it 3 676

NoMercy_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:05

Were you "pissed" off?

xHaniffax 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:04

Awwwwwe how cute

Comments

xHaniffax 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:04

Awwwwwe how cute

b182link 0

Saturday 27 March 2010 0:01

how's that cute

benny2465 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 7:35

2 just freaking wins

NoMercy_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:05

Were you "pissed" off?

lil_miz_liz09 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 1:46

HAHA

yuZj 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 8:34

LOL hahaha

xonk21 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 23:26

wow, really?

beastwill64 16

Friday 17 June 2011 4:37

That's sooooooooo stupid

Jiplo 18

Saturday 24 March 2012 23:20

As Confucius says, its better to be pissed off than pissed on, but I see u were both... so, you can b pissed off FOR being pissed on! :D

necromancerlord 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:06

Golden shower!

ck_dancer 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:10

your kid is a dirt bag lmao. i like him.

BAbyR 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:11

hes a strong little kid. wouldnt it be a little hard too lift it and throw it at your face.

ohmygawdz 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:11

I'd be pee o'd too.

wasitfinaldest 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:14

You know whats next dont you? Better get some poop proof clothes.

jillz 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:15

Congratulations!

crazygirl13_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:19

Gross get pissed

DJ375 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:20

That is what you get for having kids

hanhanjr 0

Tuesday 20 April 2010 3:57

******

Madmattmania 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 13:54

What? ur a retard

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The Top

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

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Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

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The Top

Today, I went to see a house for rent. The owner ended up being a person whom I denied renting to a long time ago, because I thought she was sketchy looking. Apparently she’s the CEO of a company now. She definitely recognized me and kicked me off the premises. FML

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Today, I went to the hair salon. When I got home, my three-year-old daughter told me I looked like Dora the Explorer. FML

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Today, the Vuvuzela that my brother ordered online was delivered to our house. FML

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Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

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Today, I was in the shower 'grooming' myself for my second anniversary with my boyfriend. Halfway through the hot water ran out. I now have the choice of going with the low 'half-fro' or risking hypothermia. My boyfriend thinks hypothermia would be the better option. FML

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Today, after my housemate handed in his notice to vacate without telling me beforehand, I had few days whilst working to make a decision to stay or vacate. In a panic, I chose vacate. On my day off I sat down with my finances and discovered I can't afford elsewhere. I asked to stay, my landlord put up rent by 50%. I might now become homeless. FML

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