Kids: Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I...

By Lisaa918 - 10/06/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 201

You deserved it 6 185

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By tenthousandspoon - 13/09/2010 00:08 - New Zealand

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 840

You deserved it 3 055

By nutsucker - 08/03/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 530

You deserved it 10 867

By gross - 06/08/2015 17:28 - United States

Today, I asked my one-year-old to come and give mommy a kiss. She did and it was really sweet, until she tried to spit a piece of dog food into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 823

You deserved it 3 169

By ManchotDesAndes - 26/02/2015 07:35 - France - Bezons

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 303

You deserved it 11 166

Best gift ever

By Vanessa - 04/02/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, my toddler gave me what I thought was a ball of melted chocolate. I held it and sniffed it to be sure… It was a freaking ball of her poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 233

Primitive art

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 00:30

Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 300

Everyone's a Critic

By Kitten - 19/06/2018 15:00

Today, I was playing some children's music while I cooked so my two-year-old was entertained a little. I started dancing while cooking and she looked at me with a straight face and said, "Mama... Don't dance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 978

You deserved it 668

My chocolate

By oops - 31/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 1 795

By Sarah - 30/08/2012 12:58 - United States - Hampton Bays

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 888

You deserved it 2 118

By FoodyFood - 19/03/2012 04:59 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 063

You deserved it 14 731

soccerkrzy 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 19:53

Please be dirt....and not poo...

dmmd8686 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 19:53

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit...anyone who says YDI is foolish

Comments

coopcas 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 20:24

I hope you complimented the chef.

FurrTrap 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 20:24

Mmmm, hopefully not poo! Kids can be delightful at times!!!

EffYoLife 14

Wednesday 10 June 2009 20:27

YDI everyone knows dont let a 2 year old stick their nasty finger in ur mouth. where did she get "chocolate" if u didnt give her any. Furthermore even if she HAD chocolate, dont let a dirty handed 2 year old feed it to you. 2 year olds r nasty..digging in their noses and things of that nature lol

lovablylovable 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 20:29

I don't even wanna know!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I pray it wasn't crap.............eeeeewwwwww...........

frigid_days 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 20:32

#6 is such a fag. He comments In every fml being a douche bag

ivoryshade 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 20:33

How can kids STAND the idea of playing with feces?? Do they not have any sense of smell or taste? FYL for sure that's just gross...

FBIWarning 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 20:33

YDI, reflex's FTW

idratherbewrestl 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 20:33

Shouldn't have let her watch 2 girls 1 cup....

Dashuhn 1

Wednesday 10 June 2009 20:34

YDI. Your two year old isn't tall enough, and doesn't have the strength to force you to put their hand into your mouth. And really, the smell should've given it away.